Words of Silence
by xxlifeinwordsxx
Summary: Sammy I think I have to say yes." "No Dean, you don't." As Dean and Sam set out to end the Apocalypse, the world stands against them. Will the brothers survive, or will their story finally come to it's end?
1. Words Of Silence

So this is my first attempt at a FF and I hope that it turns out. I do plan to right more as I formulate an ending, and I hope to find time to write it. Please review and leave suggestions, it's all appreciated. This story is placed after _Changing Channels _and it ignores everything that happens on the show afterwards, just in case you were wondering. It follows Dean and Sam as they lead up to the Apocalypse and have to finally make their decision. It's up to them to save or end the world, so now only time will tell.

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Supernatural related although I give regards to the lovely people who created it for us. **

Words of Silence

_What is it they want from me?_

_What does tomorrow expect to see?_

_Why does the world spin in asking for salvation_

_When many don't know what it truly means?_

_And why is it my responsibility to save the world when I can't even save myself?_

His heart beat impatiently within his chest, counting down the seconds to the end. Every breath left his lips as a marker of how many were left. The end was near, and soon it would be his turn to make a chose.

With every rotation of the tires Dean brought himself farther away from his brother and the growing sense of knowing that was eating him alive. Foreigner's '_Break It Up' _was blasting on the Impala radio_, _resonating through every fiber of his being. He just wanted to forget, to leave it all behind and never look back. He just wished that for once in his life things were simple, just black and white.

Why did he have to be the one the world relied on? Why was it so damn important that he make his decision? Dean didn't want to be a vessel for anyone and he sure as hell wasn't letting Lucifer use Sammy. He wouldn't let it happen, he just couldn't. Sammy and him had made it through hundreds of things before by pushing the odds and this wasn't any different. They'd find a way to stop the Apocalypse, and wouldn't be the way everyone wanted. The Trickster said it would end with them, and so it would.

The tarmac rolled beneath the Impala, the moon a luminescent ball at the end of the road. Dean's eyes were focused on that moon, a destination far beyond his reach. He just wanted to escape the world that had become his cage. Dean just wished everything could be different, that none of this had happened. But that was always a short lived thought, for he knew the consequences attached to that wish. He knew that he would always be stuck in his own living hell; four walls of scarlet flames that licked and burned at his soul. He didn't know what was worse, the hell of the dead or the hell of the living.

Dean looked over at the empty seat next to him, sighing softly. Sammy. Sam was so naïve, yet so knowledgeable about the world. It was comforting at times, Sam's attitude towards life, but at others times he was reading to strangle him. Why did this have to happen to them? Three years ago they were happy, to some extent, but now Dean could feel the wedge that was slowly breaking them apart. He looked at Sam and he wasn't sure anymore about what he saw. He saw his Sammy, but he also saw a demon. He hated thinking that but he couldn't deny it. After what Sam had done, he'd always feel to some extent that Sam could turn again.

Dean looked back out at the road, resting his head on his palm propped up against the cold window. Where he was driving he didn't know, he just wanted to get away from the words.

"_Sam, I told you I don't want to discuss it." Dean popped the cap off his beer, taking a long swig from the bottle. "I'm tired and I'm hungry, so please."_

"_Dean I just think it's about time we talk about this. You heard what the Trickster said. It'll end with us, it was always meant to." Sam stood in the middle of the room, examining his older brother._

"_No Sammy, it won't. So the angels can preach all they want but neither you nor I will give into what they want. We'll stop the Apocalypse, but not this way you understand." Dean looked into Sam's eyes, his eyes dark and controlling. "You know how I feel Sam and I have nothing more to add." Dean broke his gaze away, turning to the fridge. He opened the door, sifting through what could barely be called a meal. _

_Sam crossed the room to the table positioned behind Dean. "You know we'll have to make the choice Dean, sooner or later."_

"_Yes, and I've already made my decision." Dean backed away from the fridge, a half eaten cheeseburger in his hands. He kicked the door shut with his foot, leaning up against the counter. "Castiel, Zachariah, Michael, they all know my decision, and nothing's going to change that." He paused. "And honestly Sam how can you even be considering this? We're talking letting Lucifer use you as a meat suit."_

"_And Michael using you Dean. We're talking Heaven and Hell here, not a jigsaw puzzle. This isn't something we can just forget about, discard, and come back to later. You know just as I do Dean that we can run but we'll have to face this sooner or later. We started the Apocalypse and so we must end it." Sam leaned forward, resting his hands against the cold oak. He looked down at them, sighing._

"_You have something more to say Sam, so say it." Dean finished off the burger, his stomach rumbling. He wondered if he had left any food in the Impala but remembered he had finished it off that morning. _

"_I was looking through Dad's journal. Stop, before you say anything here me out." Dean shrugged, sitting down across from his brother. "I came across a name, Andrew Cole, and a series of dates. The first was the day Lucifer rose, the second's in two days, and the last one's next week. I think Dad knew about what was going to happen Dean, and these dates are when significant things are going to happen. If I'm right, this'll all be over by next Sunday." Sam looked up at Dean, waiting for an answer._

_Dean let Sam's words formulate in his mind. "So, if what you're saying is right, my last day on Earth is a day when the bars sell the cheap beer. And even better, I can't get a girl worth my money on a Sunday."_

"_Dean could you please take this seriously?" _

"_I am taking this seriously Sam, and I think you're crazy." Dean stood up, crossing a few steps. "There are dozens of numbers in Dad's journal that we don't know what they mean. I mean you've been starting at that thing for hours every day, are you sure your brains not just making this all up? You know, you look at something and make it into what you want because you need an answer. I'm sorry Sam, Dad wasn't a psychic and even if he did 'know' about the Apocalypse don't you think he'd have told us. It's not exactly something you keep to yourself."_

"_Yes, but Dad wasn't exactly known for spilling his thoughts now was he? Look all I'm saying is that it's worth a look. We can find the guy and talk to him, ask him what the dates mean."_

"_And what if he's dead Sam, then what?" Dean placed the empty beer bottle on the counter, turning to look at his little brother. His comment left Dean's lips to sit uncomfortably between them._

_Sam sighed at his brother's abrasive comment. "He's not dead Dean, I already looked into it."_

"_Of course you did."_

"_He's in Kansas, Richford Medical Centre." Dean shook his head, grabbing his jacket off the chair and starting towards the door. "Where are you going?"_

_Dean turned back to look at Sam. "I'm going to contemplate rather my father actually kept the Apocalypse a secret or if my brother's just a nut." Dean shrugged on his jacket quickly.  
"I'll be back later, no need to wait up." And with one last look at his brother he left the motel for his Impala. _

_***_

To think his father had known all that time and never said anything. Of course it was typical of John Winchester to do things on his own, but if he had just told them. If they had just known what their actions would do, maybe none of it would have happened. Maybe Dean wouldn't be speeding on an uncharted road hoping underneath it all that he would just die and it would all be over with. Michael couldn't possess his body if it was dead. But Dean knew that by giving up he was handing over to Lucifer exactly what he wanted, Sam and the world.

"You've got one week Dean."

The car swerved as Dean barely avoided colliding with another car. "Son of a bitch Cas! What did I tell you about popping in unannounced?"

"That it needed to stop and I should call you beforehand." Castiel sat upright in the passenger's seat, turning his head to look at Dean.

"Exactly, so why didn't you?"

"The battery ran out." Castiel looked back out of the window, avoiding Dean's gaze. "And I wasn't exactly sure how to fix that."

Dean shook his head, taking in a deep breath as he looked out at the road. "What do you mean I've got a week Cas?"

"You've got a week to stop it all Dean. I don't care how but you've got a week to make sure we win. Lucifer's been working on Sam and the guys good Dean, I'll give him that. It takes a really strong man to give in to him."

"What the hell are you talking about Cas?" Dean glared at Castiel, his thoughts racing. There was no way in hell Sam was giving in to anyone.

"You know what I'm talking about Dean, you've always known. It's going to end with the two of you, and rather it be Michael and Lucifer or not, you'll be the end."Castiel paused slightly, looking at Dean. "I think you need to listen to Sam and go check that guy out. It may be good to see what he has to say."

"Oh, so not only do you pop in while I'm in the shower but you also listen in on my conversations, wonderful. You know, for an angel Cas you're not exactly the most respective of humans." Dean paused. "What do you know about this guy?"

"Enough to not speak his name. Go see him Dean, then see if your decision changes."

"Yeah, that's likely." Dean looked over at Castiel, but he was gone-as usual. Dean thought about what Castiel had said, his words formulating questions without answers. What was so bad about this guy that Castiel wouldn't speak his name? There was even something on his face, a trace of fear maybe. But Dean couldn't be sure; Castiel didn't exactly have a wide range of emotions.

Dean slowly turned the Impala around, heading back to Sam. He'd take Castiel's word and go see the guy, but it didn't mean he'd believe him or change anything. Anything he said was just words, nothing more, and it would take a lot to persuade him to the other side. Dean had made his chose and he would stick to it until the end.

_Everything's just words._

_Broken, beaten, and whispered through cracked lips._

_A lie can be truth when spoken right_

_And hope can be nurtured with chosen words_

_But what happens when the words are built from silence?_

Thank-you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. If you did stay tuned and I will get to Chapter 2 as soon as I can. Please leave reviews.


	2. Praying for a Heartbeat

**Praying for a Heartbeat**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural in any way, that right goes to Eric, the cast, crew, and the CW. **_

This is the second chapter in my attempt at a story line that's been formulating in my mind. It's kind of going to be a take on the end of Season 5 and what will happen with the Apocalypse. It has nothing to do with anything after _Changing Channels _in case you were wondering and will continue with my thought on the end of the world. I hope you enjoy it, thank you.

_I don't know how to say it_

_And I know it's not this hard_

_But with every heartbeat the words break away_

_My blood rushes in an in complete circle_

_Ending where it never began_

Sam sat at the edge of his bed, his head buried in his hands. Why was he stupid enough to think he could get anything through his brother's thick skull? Dean wouldn't listen, Sam knew that. Dean had always known where he stood on this whole crazy thing and Sam just wished he could feel the same. He wasn't necessarily saying he was going to give into Lucifer but what if he did? What if Dean and him said yes to Lucifer and Michael, couldn't they just end this all and let it end the way it was meant to? Sam hated those 'what if' questions, they were ever present and beating like a hammer at his skull. What if he said yes? What if Dean did? What if neither of them did? What would happen to the world?

Sam looked up as the lights flickered. He looked around him-nothing. Sam leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed Dean's handgun, holding it lightly in his hand. A shadow flickered to his left and his reflex's had him on his feet with the gun pointed. A figure resided in the depth of the shadows, a dark opaque silhouette. Sam could hear the man's breathing and every breath seemed to beat at Sam's heart. He had a cold feeling running down his spine as every inch of his body yielded against a penetrating force.

"You can put the gun down Sam, I'm not going to hurt you." The voice was cold and frozen, sending pins and needles through Sam's body.

Sam didn't lower the gun. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk." Lucifer stepped out of the shadows, his eyes focused on Sam's. Sam could see that Lucifer's vessel was slowly wasting away, and that was why he was there. "You're brother will be returning soon and we both know how that'll go over if I'm here, so I'm going to get to the point."

"I already told you how I feel."

"Yes you did." Lucifer began to cross the room as Sam followed him with the gun. "But you see this body isn't going to last that much longer, and I need you Sam. I need you to save me."

"Find someone else to save you." Lucifer stood a few feet away from Sam, but his presence felt close to Sam's soul.

"I would if I could, believe me." Lucifer closed the small distance between Sam and him with a few strides. His chest came up to the barrel of the gun as Lucifer looked into Sam's eyes.

Sam's heart seemed to stop within his chest, a silent echo filling the cavity. Time seemed to freeze as Lucifer's gaze penetrated every piece of him. He wanted to break his gaze away but they were held there, staring into the soul Lucifer may or may not have. Sam began to miss the constant pounding of his heart even though it reminded him of the price paid to live.

"Shoot me Sam. Shoot me. I know you want to do it." He did, he wanted to shoot the son of a bitch and just end it all now, but why was he even trying? A gun wouldn't kill him and they'd be lucky if even the Colt did. There was only one way to kill Lucifer and Dean was in no way willing to do it that way.

"You're right , I do." Sam lowered the gun, but kept it at his side. "But what use will it have?"

"It's nice to see there's actually some sense in that head of yours Sam. Now please sit with me so we can talk."

He didn't want to sit, why should he? But something had him sitting on the edge of the bed next to Lucifer, and something had him actually waiting to hear what he had to say.

"You and I, we have similar stories. You see, we both know what it's like to be looked down on by our brothers. Dean may seem like he's trying to accept everything but you know he's not. You know that Dean has always been the kind to shoot first and ask questions later. He looks down on you, like you're the one whose fault it is for all of this." Lucifer gestured with his arms at the world around them. He turned back to Sam, looking him in the eyes. "My brother blamed me for everything too, and because he couldn't open his eyes he sent me away. Dean will do the same thing to you and he will never look back and regret it. Dean will move on without you, forget you like a cold that lingered past its pay." Lucifer placed a cold hand on Sam's shoulder. "I'm here to protect you, not to hurt you. It may seem that way but I've had ample chance to do so and I haven't. I respect you and I understand you."

"You don't understand anything about me." Sam's lips finally managed to part. The words came out cracked and shallow as they scraped distinctively at his throat. It was like Lucifer had a hold on his soul-his words, his heart, his mind. Every word that formulated seemed to slip away like midnight sand. Every movement was held back by an oppressive force, and every thought was broken by the word yes. It was Lucifer's frozen gaze that both soothed and terrified the soul.

Lucifer smirked, standing up. He crossed the room, lifting the curtain to look out the window. He turned back to Sam with a slick smile crossing his features. His eyes seemed to dance in the motel light, sending shadows against the world. "But I do Sam, I do." Lucifer now stood in the shadows, his voice the only part of him that remained. "I had a feeling that one day I would put fate in a human's hands, now I just hope that feeling won't turn against me." Lucifer paused. "The day Dean will leave you is coming, and the day for you to make a decision follows. I'll be waiting." And he was gone, like words whispered on the winter air. The only remnant of his presence was the dark chill that crept through Sam's heart. His heart seemed to stop with movement he made and he way have thought he was dead if not for the breath that still escaped his lungs.

Sam looked up; at what he wasn't sure anymore, but he still looked. He asked for someone to save him and for someone to save Dean. If not them, at least save the people they probably wouldn't. Sam let out a long awaited breath, placing his head in his hands. Why did the fate of the world always seem to sit on one man's shoulders? Atlas had done it for the Greeks but Sam knew the Earth hadn't been as heavy back then. If Sam dropped the world now, it wouldn't just fall, it would fall, smash, burn, and break as every measured metre passed.

Sam jumped at the sound of screeching wheels on the pavement and the soft hum as the Impala was shut off. Footsteps echoed as a key jingled in its place and Dean walked into the motel. He looked at Sam for a second but no words were exchanged between them. He just shut the door and continued on to his bed, falling on the blankets and closing his eyes.

Sam woke to the loud singing of AC/DC's "Back in Black". Sam groaned, rolling on to his side. He shoved his head under the pillow trying to drown out Brian Johnson and his brother. Sam hadn't slept a wink last night, his mind rolling over and over on what Lucifer had said. He didn't like to say he was actually contemplating what he'd said but he had and he had thought a lot into it. Underneath it all he knew Dean would leave him eventually, he'd already tried multiple times already. Once Dean left him, what did he have? Nothing. So what was stopping him then from saying yes?

"Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey!" Dean's voice didn't heed the typical cheeriness it usually did, a sign that Dean wasn't exactly in the best of moods. Dean turned the music up more as he walked outside to pack the Impala's trunk.

Sam groaned, turning back over to face the ceiling. He sat up, watching as Dean came back into the room. "What changed your mind?"

Dean didn't look at him. "The who was Castiel. Now get your ass out of bed, you've got ten minutes and we're leaving."

"Dean…" But he was gone, and he didn't come back. Ten minutes later Sam left the motel and headed for the Impala. Dean sat in the driver's seat, this time rocking out to REO Speedwagon. He didn't look at Sam as he got in the car but started it as soon as the door shut beside him. Dean drove quickly out of the motel parking lot and started for Kansas.

The hours rode on endlessly as the road stretched out infront of them. Three more hours remained, three having already passed. Not a single word had been exchanged between the brothers and Sam was getting tired of not only the music but Dean's evasiveness.

Sam turned the music down, looking at Dean. "Dean, we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about Sam. Now if you'd please put the music back on it would be greatly appreciated."

"What did Castiel say to you?"

"I might be asking you what Lucifer's been saying to you." Dean finally looked at Sam, his gaze cutting through him. So that was what Castiel had told him.

"Dean, why does that matter?" Sam turned in his seat to examine his brother.

" 'Why does that matter?' Are you serious Sam? The frickin' devil's been conversing with you over tea and you're asking me why it matters? This is the damn apocalypse if you haven't noticed and Lucifer's in need of a new meat suit-you. Anything he says to you isn't exactly something you can write in your diary and disregard as teenage sleepover talk. What has he been saying to you Sam?" Dean wasn't exactly angry, just agitated. He hated secrets-not that he didn't keep his own, but he hated when they weren't exactly secrets anymore and still people wouldn't talk.

"Dean…" Dean just glared at him. Sam's heart beat like a jackhammer in his chest and his thoughts raced around each other. What was he supposed to say to Dean? He wanted to tell him the truth, but Dean would just over-react like he always did. He wouldn't understand. "He said I'd give in eventually, that one day nothing would stop me from saying yes." It wasn't the whole truth, but some is better than none.

Sam saw something tense in Dean, something he hadn't seen before. Sam couldn't quite put his finger on the why and so he just disregarded it as a natural movement.

"Too bad he forgot to take me in to account. You're not saying yes Sam, not if I have anything to say about it."

"Dean, you don't know what's going to happen. Maybe we'll have to say yes, maybe it'll be the only way."

"There's never only been one end to a mean's Sammy." Dean looked at his brother, his green eyes piercing Sam's. "I promised you I wouldn't let anything happen and I will kill Lucifer with my bare hands before he lays a single finger on you. If the Apocalypse really ends with us then it will end that way and not with Lucifer and Michael. They can fight their war without us. And besides, we're only humans right, what use are we really to an arch-angel and the devil?"

_The silent cold falls with prickly fingers on the heart,_

_Scratching and pulling at every forceful beat._

_I feel as if my heart has left my chest,_

_That or it just lays broken with my soul._

_So much for my prayer for a heartbeat._

Thank you for reading and I greatly appreciate you for taking your time to do so. Please review-good, bad, it's all appreciated. I want to continue to improve and the critique of readers is one of the best ways to do so. So please, please review and if you like please stay tuned for chapter 3. Again, as I said in Chapter 1, i'll try to write it as quickly as I can. If I take a long time I apologize ahead of time. Again, thank you.


	3. Broken by a Thought

**Broken by a Thought**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, that right goes to Eric, the cast, crew, and the CW.**_

This is chapter three in the story which if you're reading this you know is my take on an ending to Supernatural. This chapter will be a lead up to Dean and Sam's big decision and it's mainly just a play on that storyline. I hope you enjoy it and thank-you for reading, I appreciate it.

_The sun circles the world _

_Cradling her in its warm embrace_

_I want to feel that warmth in my heart too_

_And I've dreamt of that world that welcomes me _

_But I know that the time will come when my thoughts won't lie_

The Impala pulled up in front of Richford Medical Center, tires screeching on the pavement. Dean and Sam got out of the car and looked at each other briefly before heading for the front door. They walked up to the front desk, where a petite twenty-something with long blond hair and green eyes sat in front of a computer.

Dean grinned before stopping in front of the desk. "We're here to see an Andrew Cole."

The girl looked up at Dean, a small smile crossing her face. "I'm sorry but Mr. Cole doesn't take visitors."

"He'll see us." Sam stood next to Dean, looking down at the woman. "He's a friend of the family, tell him it's the Winchester's."

"I'm sorry sir but Mr. Cole was adamant that he have no visitors. I can't let you see him."

The woman shifted in her seat as Dean leaned down, putting his arms on the desk. He looked her in the eyes doing what Dean was known for doing. "Look sweetheart we just drove six hours to get here and it's very important that we see him. Could you please just tell him who we are and if he still says no we'll leave? I promise."

The woman looked Dean in the eyes, sighing softly. "I'll see what I can do sir."

Ten minutes later the Winchesters were walking down a white-washed hallway to room 415 where one Andrew Cole resided. People walked past them slowly as the whole world seemed to be at a standstill but for Dean and Sam.

Dean looked at Sam as they stopped outside Mr. Cole's doorway. Dean knocked on the door loudly, a small grumble of 'yes' vibrating through the walls as a reply. Sam and Dean exchanged a look as they opened the door. A blinding light filled the small room as a slight wind whipped through the window. A faint creak echoed through the wind as a man of about seven decades rocked back and forth in front of the open window.

An eerie feeling fell over the brothers, a feeling they couldn't quiet explain. It was like the man in front of them was more than human, more than just a man. All Sam had learnt about the man was that he had gone crazy making comments about angels and demons. Of course no one believed him, why would they? So they sent him to Richford where he'd been for ten years, still rambling about the end of the world.

"Mr. Cole?" Sam motioned slowly towards the man, coming up a few feet away. He couldn't see the man's face as it was turned away. All he could see was a scare running deeply across his neck and the back of his head.

Sam looked at Dean questioningly when Cole didn't answer. Dean just shrugged, urging him to go on. Sam returned it with a look that said, 'What the hell am I supposed to say?' and Dean once again just shrugged, his face saying 'It was your idea.' Sam huffed and turned back to look at the man who appeared to have stopped breathing. That or he had mastered the art of a statue.

"Mr. Cole..."

"I heard you the first time boy." The man's voice was rough and husky and it reverberated through Sam's body. A few seconds passed between them as a sigh passed Cole's pale life. "I never thought I'd live to see the day that I would meet the Winchester brothers." Cole stood up slowly, a quite creaking filling the air as the chair rocked against the floorboards. He grabbed a small walking stick that rested against the wall and began making his way towards a small table nestled in the corner of the room.

Dean and Sam followed, waiting for him to sit before they took the two chairs across from him. It was then that they saw his face. His skin was pale, lines of age crisscrossing against weathered skin. His features were angular and the set of them seemed to show that the man had seen a lot. Only the man couldn't see. His eyes were cloudy, a piercing white that sent creeping shivers over the brother's spines.

Cole folded his hands in front of him as he appeared to be examining Dean and Sam. A smile crept across his face and at a point Dean believed he would break out in laughter. But he didn't, he just smiled in a way that said he had been waiting for this moment for a very long time.

"So tell me boys, how has your father been doing?" Cole eyes remained set on them, crossing between Dean and Sam as he waited for a reply.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances with each other before Sam spoke. "He died a couple of years ago."

"I see." Cole nodded his head a few times in acceptance of the news. "And you two, how's the Apocalypse faring?"

Speechless fell over the brothers as they examined the man in front of him. Andrew Cole was mysterious and his every breath seemed to spell a man who'd been broken and out back together more than a few times. His essence seemed to express a man who'd seen the end of the world and lived to tell the tale. Dean saw a man who was maybe a little off his rocker but Sam saw a man who could tell them everything they needed to know to make it to tomorrow.

"What do you know about the Apocalypse?" Dean's voice was questioning but there was a warning tone in it, more implying how the hell the man knew anything about the Apocalypse.

A soft laugh escaped Cole's throat. "What do I know about the Apocalypse?" He paused slightly, tilting his head a few centimeters. "I know more than you two boys do."

"Can you tell us?" The expression on Sam's face was full of curiosity, his voice urging Cole to tell them all he knew.

"Just like your father, so eager to get the answers before you really know the questions. But, I'll tell you what you need to know if you answer my question first." Cole leaned forward, meeting his gaze mainly with Dean.

"What do you want to know?" It was out of necessity that he asked the question but mainly to get the man to avert his gaze elsewhere. Cole didn't. His eyes remained met with Dean's and they cut seamlessly through his soul. Dean felt like the man could see him, every part of him that even Dean couldn't. For a man without the ability to see he sure knew how to make a man see himself. Dean couldn't distinguish what it was that sent that foreign feeling over his body. It was the man but it was also a presence he emitted with every movement that was more than man but less than the world.

"I want to know if you've made your decision yet."

"My decision?" Dean had a feeling he knew exactly the decision the man meant.

"Yes, your decision Dean. What answer have you given Michael?"

That was Dean snapped. Why the hell were they even listening to this guy? All he was was a seventy year old man who had dropped his marbles and found leisure in staring out a window at a very polluted city. "Whatever answer I have or haven't given him is not important right now. What matters is that give us the information you know so we can get out of this town and try and stop the Apocalypse."

"Dean, please I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a question, and one I was curious about."

"Well screw your curiousity." Dean attained a reprimand from Sam but he ignored it, leaning back in his chair as he looked at Cole. "You say you know more about this then we do so you understand the importance even better. We don't have time to waste, so please whatever you can tell us would be greatly appreciated."

Cole leaned back in his chair, changing his gaze to Sam. "You found the numbers I'm guessing."

Sam nodded. "Yes, what do they mean?" Sam leaned forward, placing his arms against the table.

"They mean exactly what you think they mean Sam. And if my memory serves me correctly, I'm guessing you have a week."

"How did you know? The dates, I mean, how did you know all this was going to happen?"

Somehow Sam expected the answer but it still took him by surprise when the words slipped simply past his lips. "An arch angel." He paused. "A very important one." Cole broke his gaze for the first time as he stood up. Cole grabbed his stick as he crossed slowly to the window, staring engrossed out at the world in front of him.

"Michael?" Sam had already stood up and followed Cole to the window. Dean remained seated, turned towards the conversation.

"Yes, Michael. I was twelve years old when the angel came to see me. I still don't know why it was me he chose as I didn't even believe in God, but for some reason it was me he told this to. I like to think it was so that one day I could tell your father and in turn you. Rather that was the case or not, here I am and I'm telling you this information so you can save this world." He looked back at Dean who was now standing a few feet behind him. "It was always meant to end with you two."

"What did Michael tell you?" It was Dean who asked the question.

Cole turned back to the window. "He said that everything was not good in Heaven, that the brothers were fighting and there was division between the angels. Who knew angels could be disloyal? He said that the Apocalypse would come to happen and that it would be two brothers who would hold the world on their shoulders. He gave me three dates-the ones you know about- and he gave me a name, Winchester. Before he left he told me it was my duty to tell the world, to warn them. Too bad he didn't think about where that would land me." Cole paused.

"He said the eldest had to say yes as the younger would no matter what. He also made it clear that if the elder stayed form on no that his brother would rise and destroy the world and even God wouldn't be able to stop him. The Apocalypse-the end of the world because of two brothers. Friends, enemies, blood…humans. It would be because of them and not the angels or the demons." Cole turned to look from Sam to Dean, his voice searing through their bodies like acid.

Sam stood still against the white-washed room, emotion flooding through him. He had known it all along, had a feeling it truly would come down to this. The Trickster had already said it would be them but now it was truly from Michael's mouth. Michael had come to tell a human, to warn him so that he could warn others. Michael was trying to protect the world against his brother and he'd used Cole as fortification on letting the humans know.

Sam looked at Dean, but his brother's face was blank. He knew Dean was going through a roller coaster of emotion, the same as Sam was. Dean was set on saying no but he had known all along what would happen if he did. Sam wasn't going to say yes but Michael said he would, he said no matter what. Sam didn't want to think he could say yes, he just couldn't. What kind of person was he to say yes to the thing that wanted to destroy the world? It was a breaking feeling that haunted every inch of his being as he thought of the possibilities.

One week and it was all over.

One yes and they could save the world.

Two human-brother decisions would change the world.

Cole's words funneled through Dean's thoughts, tumbling over and under each other. Sam was always meant to say yes no matter what he did, that's what Michael said. Sam was destined to say yes in Detroit and let Lucifer rule the world. Dean didn't want to believe that there was no way he could change that outcome. But it was from Michael, straight from his mouth and who was Dean to deny an arch angels words, right? 'Yes'. It seemed like a word that had become a part of him. It was one three letter word and yet he ate, drank, and slept the word. If he said yes he could save the world, so why was he having a hard time saying it?

Cole broke away from the window abruptly. "Boys I think it's time you leave. I'm tired and I don't think I can talk much more about this unfortunate ordeal." Cole sat down slowly in his chair, his eyes closing softly. "Good luck." And the man was asleep. Just like that he had sat down and fallen asleep.

Sam and Dean exchanged a glance over the sleeping man before leaving the room. They walked down the hallway in an awkward silence, both in their own unclear thoughts. They reached the Impala still in silence and together closed the door behind them. They sat there staring out the window where they could see above them a faint outline of Andrew Cole from his bedroom, the light illuminating his small silhouette.

"Drive the car Dean."

Dean jumped. "Son of a bitch Cas!" Dean went to reprimand him again for forgetting to call when Castiel cut him off.

"Drive the car Dean."

"Look Cas I'm not in the mood to take orders from you right now…"

"There are angels and demons on their way for that man and they'll take you too if you're here. So I advice you drive the car now Dean."

_Thrashing against the cold heart of man_

_Lies the truth behind their soul_

_Laden with lies their words are whispered_

_Broken like the forgotten winter horizon_

_But_ _deep beneath they were just broken by a thought_

Again thank you so much for reading this far and if you did please review. Good or bad any review is good critisism for a writer and I appreciate both. If you have any ideas about what you think will/should happen to the brothers feel free to post. Anything's appreciated. Once again thank you and if you enjoyed please keep reading, I'll post a new chapter as soon as I can.


	4. Forgiven for a Lie

**Forgiven for a Lie**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, that belongs to Eric Kripke, the cast and crew, and the CW.**

First I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story to this point. I am grateful to all of you and I appreciate everyone who left me reviews. Please, if you have anything to say (even if it's one word or even two) leave me a review. They're gratefully appreaciated.

Second, I would like to apologize to everyone who has read my story this far and has been waiting or wondering if another chapter was going up. I've been meaning to get to it but i've been busy with school and then with getting ready for the holdiays. Believe me, writing's been on the top of my list for a while now but eveything's just been crazy. (Yes, I know it's not that long considering the amount of time i've had but I wanted to get something out before Christmas actually got here so at least there was something for people to read until I reached my computer again.) So again I apologize to all that this apology applies to and I hope you will forgive me.

Now I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think. Thank-you for reading.

***

_Hard against the fallen lies_

_I hold my heart in my hands._

_I have made my mistakes,_

_Dealt with them my way,_

_But never faced the breaking day._

Dean ignited the car, pulling quickly out of the parking lot. He could feel it in his bones, the cold pressure of the two beings. They were near and too near for comfort. Dean did not want to leave the man but something in Castiel's face, something he had never seen before, told him to keep his foot on the gas. Dean pulled farther and farther away from Andrew Cole and yet the feeling he had earlier possessed did not leave his bones.

Dean looked at Castiel through the rearview mirror slightly then back at the road. "Do you want to tell us what the hell that was about?"

"The Apocalypse." Castiel stated it bluntly, staring straight out the clear glass in front of him.

"Yes I know that Cas, thank-you. But how did they find out about him?"

"They followed you two. Both sides figured he knew something that was worth figuring out. I'd say I feel sorry for him if he didn't already know it was coming."

Sam turned to look at Castiel. "That's why he made us leave, he knew they were coming."

"Yes Sam. However, he will be dead before they get there. " Castiel paused. "I think it is time you two consider where you stand. The Apocalypse is coming."

"Yes we know that, but this whole thing hasn't changed anything. Neither Sammy or I is saying yes to anyone, I can guarantee you that."

"I think it best you consider…"

"I think it best you shut your pie hole." Dean's voice was laden with anger, cold against the autumn air.

Castiel's voice hung like water vapour in the air, the only remainder of the angel in the car. Slow seconds ticked by within the vehicle as the sun began to set behind the Kansas horizon. The sky shifted shades, the cold azure becoming a soft seducing red. Dean and Sam knew the area well, the way the air shifted, the way the ground rolled, and the way the water rippled lazily against paralyzed sand. They had memories in that air, memories both wanted to remember and forget. The two brothers were now exactly where they started. For the last time the Winchesters were home. They were in Laurence, Kansas.

Dean did not know how or why he had driven the car there, but some force inside him just told him to do it. The trees flushed by, the road hard beneath the tires. Lights blurred outside the windows as home after home became part of the past. The Impala then slowly came to a stop, the concrete rushing sluggishly below. The common purr of the engine was shut off and silence broke at every inch of the air. It crept into the brother's souls and their lives came flashing back at them with an overwhelming force.

"Dean why'd you come here?" Sam's voice broken slowly at the silence, cracking electrically through the air.

Dean didn't answer, all he did was stare blindly out the window at their old home. Sam didn't push his brother for an answer but sat and waited. Seconds crept by into minutes, soaking themselves into the moment.

Dean's voice finally spoke. "Why Sammy? Why?" His voice cracked but nothing showed on his face. Sam knew what his brother wanted to hear but it wasn't the truth. He could say it was just meant to happen, but all of it was really just made to happen. Their lives were decided years before they were born and anything they did couldn't change anything. Sam liked to think he had all the answers, and logically he did. But Dean didn't want logic, he wanted to know why. Why them?

"I don't know Dean. I really don't know."

Dean didn't speak again for a few more seconds. "Do you ever think about what life would have been like if…" His voice cracked as he turned to look out the front window.

"If Mom and Dad hadn't died." Sam finished his sentence for him, taking a guess, if not just voicing his actual thoughts.

Dean turned to look at Sam. "If we'd died in that fire." His words hung like ice as he turned back away from Sam. Sam had never seen his brother like this before, vulnerable yes, but completely and utterly shattered. He'd never seen that look in Dean's eye that really just said that he was done. Dean was tired; he was done fighting.

"I keep wondering if any of this would have happened if we had just died. If I hadn't been here to go to Hell and you to kill Lilith, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe the damn Apocalypse wouldn't be threatening the whole of the human race." Dean paused, banging his hand against the steering wheel.

"Dean…"

"God damn it Sammy." Dean through his head in his hands, his elbows leaning against the cold steering wheel. "I think I have to say yes." The words broke through his cracking lips, beating against the world.

"No Dean, you don't." Sam rested his hand against Dean's arm, his brother's heartbeat beating fiercely through the cold leather jacket. "Not once did you ever consider saying yes, so don't start now."

Dean pulled away from the steering wheel, looking at his brother. "We both know we're lying to ourselves Sammy. If we don't say yes then the world's gone. Everything we've been fighting to protect, everything Mom and Dad died for, it'll disappear. Lucifer will raise Hell on Earth and everything will have been for nothing. Our lives will have been for nothing."

"Dean…"

"Sammy please, just let me say this, or I may never do it again." Dean paused, taking in a breath. "I'm trying so hard to keep myself together. It's not that I don't want Michael to possess me and stop the Apocalypse, it's that I don't want to fight my own brother. You know as well as I do what is going to happen to us Sam. Lucifer won't stop until he gets you…"Dean's voice caught in his throat. "And you will say yes Sammy." Dean looked his brother in the eyes. "You will say yes and then that just leaves me. If I don't say it too then the world falls. I've seen it, I've seen it all. I never thought it would end up this way, and now I just don't know anymore. I can't understand why anything turned out the way it did. And please, don't give me the bullshit that it happened for a reason, that just makes it worse. This-the Apocalypse, tell me, what is the reason behind that?" Dean's voice trailed off, hanging as Sam remained silent.

"Dean I…" Sam had no time to finish his comment as Dean started up the car engine. The car vibrated as Dean pushed on the gas and pulled them away from their childhood home. The wheels brought them farther and farther away, grinding heavily as they wore down like the time that was slipping away.

Sam was trying so hard to find something to say to his brother. He felt like Dean had just revealed his whole soul to him. Really he had just said everything he'd been meaning to say, everything he could never find the words to say. Dean had finally admitted what he'd always known yet always denied. Dean knew now had important things really were, and how important they were the survival of the planet. Sam didn't know where Dean's thoughts lay now but he knew they were everywhere. Dean was ready to say yes but he didn't want to fight his brother. Sam didn't want to fight him either, not like this. Why did destiny say it was supposed to be them? Why were brothers always the end?

***

Dean rolled the window down, letting the autumn air slip through his lungs. The air pushed its way through the crossroads, scratching at every vein and organ in his body. The oxygen intoxicated him, pulling on his soul and playing with his thoughts. It spoke to him, teasing his every movement. _'There's a child in that car. He's got four days to live'. 'There's a man in that vehicle, he's about to be married. Too bad his wife won't live to birth their children'. _

Dean wanted to stop breathing, to stop feeling guilty for every breath he took that could be another's. It tortured him, and it was slowly destroying him from the inside out. He could feel his heart betraying him, slyly skipping uneven beats. His blood was playing tricks too, switching speeds as it rushed through his veins. His whole body hated him, his mind hated him, and hell he hated himself.

Dean looked over at Sammy. Sammy was his little brother and he always promised to protect him, something he still swore he'd do. Even if they both had to say yes, Dean would find a way to save his brother, even if it killed him. Sammy was more important than anything he'd ever had and even though they fought and sometimes he was ready to rip his head off, he still loved him. Dean loved him, even if he didn't know it.

"Hey Sammy."

Sam looked up from his lap at his brother. The sound of Dean's voice cracked through Sam's thoughts and vibrated through him. He wasn't sure how long it had been since Dean had spoken but it was long enough for the gas tank to be near empty. "Dean."

"I want you to know something. If anything happens to me, just know that I always loved you." Dean smiled softly. "You were always my little brother and you always will be." Dean glanced at Sam.

"Dean what are you talking about? Nothing's going to happen to you, we'll figure this out." Sam couldn't quite understand his brother. Everything he was saying, it was as if he thought he was going to die. It was as if he had a feeling it was all going to be over soon. Sam didn't like the way Dean was talking. It scared him, it really did. Dean didn't normally act like this.

"I know Sam, I know. But I just want you to know that, just so you don't forget." Dean's gaze turned back to the road where two large bright lights were slowly heading toward them. Dean flashed his headlights at the car, but there remained no change. Dean slowed down slightly as he tried to configure rather the driver was drunk or just nearly blind.

"Dean, pull over. I don't like the feeling of this." Sam's voice quivered slightly as Dean began to slow down more. The lights came closer and were a few feet away when Dean began to pull over.

Then the lights turned and they were headed directly towards the parked Impala. Dean started the car as fast as he could, but he was too late. The car came barreling into the front of the Impala. The car spun, catching the side of a tree before hurtling down the roadside hill. Trees battered against the black vehicle as rock scraped and tore at cold metal. They seemed to fall forever, night unfurling it's cold embrace around them.

Then the car stopped, crashing against the blank side of an oak tree. The car lay curled on its side, a shattered and beaten reminder of its former self. Sam lay unconscious on the ground a few feet away, a large dark gash sliced into his forehead. Dean was still in the car, laying face down against the ground, unhinged from his seatbelt. A bone protruded from his arm that was bent at an unusual angle under his body.

The night watched the two brothers. Their breathing was faint but not yet dead. Deep in the forest, the brothers lay surrounded by trees and animals, and a road lay just over the horizon. No lights could be seen on that road, no lights could be seen on that night. Even the moon hid its heavenly body from the face of the world.

_Far away where truth lies,_

_A man finds in himself the words-_

_The words to change the world._

_They fall from his lips like fallen lives_

_And finally forgive him for his lies._

_***_

I hope you enjoyed it and I apologize-yet again-for the cliff hanger. I'm a big fan of cliff hangers, it's just kind of my thing so i'm sorry if it's not really yours. But anyway I will try, try, try to get another chapter up as soon as I can. I know what I'm going to write it's just a matter of finding the time within the holidays to get to my computer.

So again, please leave reviews. I don't ask for much just something to let me know what you like or what I can improve on. I'm also curious-if you'd like to guess-to what you think will happen to the brothers. Leave your thoughts if you wish and thank you for reading.


	5. Forever in a Whisper

**Forever in a Whisper**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, it is property of Eric Kripke and the cast and crew of the show.**

I-Ok, so first I want to make a sincere apology for not updating since December 22nd. I have been completely distracted by exams and my mind has been everywhere but on this FanFic. So to those of you who this message affects, I am truly sorry and I hope you will forgive me.

II-Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's probably different then how many of you may have expected, mainly in the way Dean is acting, but I found the story leaning in that direction, so that's how I wrote it. But I hope you all like it and if it's not too much trouble, please leave a review. I'd like to know what you, as the reader are thinking, both good and bad. It helps me as a writer to know what you all think, so I'd really like it if you just dropped a short message.

III-Thank you for reading and enjoy.

* * *

_I can't say I understand the world,_

_Or the way its inhabitants work._

_I don't understand their words,_

_Or their broken promises,_

_They all just slip away, driven by with the road._

Dean awoke violently, a cold vigorous feeling rushing over his body. Images flashed like a slideshow across his spotted eyes. Brilliant lights consumed his view and then all he saw was a dark spinning world cracking across the car's surface. He saw red, a dark crimson red, and then nothing. His vision went black and the slides stopped.

Dean blinked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. He opened them again and all he saw was a simple whitewashed hospital room. People rushed by outside the window, machines beeped impatiently against his eardrums, and every nerve of his body was alert. The world softened around him as he sat up. His head pounded, his blood rushing forcefully through his body. Dean grabbed his head with his hands trying to suppress the pounding against his skull. His vision blurred around the edges, the world mixing into one symmetrical image. Every other sense was on a high alert and his body felt like he was experiencing everything for the first time.

The images came back to him, sliding quickly past. Then it all fell into place, just like a jigsaw puzzle. He remembered pulling over, and then the car swerving to hit them. He remembered spiraling down the hill, crashing forcefully against the dark trees and stopping. After that, it was all dark. He didn't know how he ended up in the hospital-how he got where he was, but then his mind ran to Sammy.

Sammy.

Dean stood up and started for the door when a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.

"Dean, your brother is fine."

Dean stopped, turning to see Castiel standing in the light of the window. His coat was torn, his face dirty and lined. "What the hell happened to you? You look like you just went through hell."

Castiel's face portrayed zero emotion. "In the non-literal sense of the word, yes. I actually fought myself through a dozen demons to get to you and your brother's buried bodies. What the hell were you thinking Dean?"

"Ok wait, let's back up the accusations for five seconds, my head hurts." Dean paused, examining Castiel and his previous sentence. "Now the last thing I remember was being run off the road by some idiot and as to what I was thinking, well that's between me and the hot receptionist at Richford."

"This is not time to be thinking about a woman Dean, this is serious."

"Oh just put a wing in it Cas, I'm not in the mood and I have to go find Sam." Dean took one last look at Castiel and started for the door. He stopped when Castiel's face appeared inches from his own. "Son of a bitch! You really have issues you know that?"

"Well I've been told that but I'm not entirely sure what 'issues' you seem to imply." Castiel's gaze was level with Dean's and it seemed to burn through Dean, almost igniting the scared imprint of Castiel's hand on his arm. A few fiery seconds passed between them until Castiel spoke again. "Dean, we're running out of time. Lucifer and Death are on the loose and no one, demon or angel can stop them. He's coming here for you and Sam and he won't let either of you leave until he gets what he wants."

"Cas…"

"No Dean, for once you're going to close your mouth and listen to me. Lucifer needs Sam alive but he does not need you in the same condition. Lucifer is not stupid and he knows that killing you will accomplish two things. One, Sam will be alone and in anguish he will say yes, and two, he will destroy Michael's one true vessel. So there is absolutely nothing stopping him from coming in here and cutting you down where you stand." Castiel walked up to Dean, stopping in front of him. He looked up, staring Dean deep in the eyes. "You need to realize Dean that there is no other way to stop him. I have searched the world over and there is nothing; nothing that will send him back to hell. Destiny said this was to be, God knew it was to be, and so it is what will be. You and your brother are the only way the Apocalypse will end. And you Dean, you are the only hope the human race has left. If you don't say yes, every human will die and what you know now as Earth will become a very, very distant memory."

"Jesus Castiel, can you be any more morbid?" Dean sighed as he turned away from Castiel to avoid his accusing gaze.

"Dean, I'm saying this as…your friend. As someone who appreciates having been taught the beauty of the human race and of living. You have shown me a world very unlike the one I believe existed, and now that I have seen it I don't want to see it destroyed any more then you do. You know, I like it here, and something about this place has changed me." Dean turned around to look at Castiel. "I feel things now Dean, something that I've never experienced."  
"Hey if you get all mushy on me with these new feelings I am so not giving you a hug."

A smile fell on Castiel's face but quickly disappeared as he went back to being serious. "Dean these emotions are new to me and I cannot really pinpoint them, but what I am feeling now, I don't really like it. I think it is fear Dean; fear, apprehension and coldness. Everything just feels like it is dying, like it is all going to end before it even began. So I'm asking you to say yes Dean. I don't want it, I wish there was another way, but I know underneath all these lies that there isn't." Castiel paused not really sure what to say next. "I know what it feels like to love a brother and feel you have to protect them, which is why I wish things could be different for you and Sam. But they're not, and instead of protecting him you are going to have to kill him. It's one life for billions. I wish I didn't have to ask that of you but I am, as myself and on behalf of the human race. You've known it would come down to this and inside you have prepared yourself, that's why you went to Laurence the other night, to say goodbye."

"What the hell do you know about why I went there?" Castiel's words were hitting Dean like a thousand needles, slicing and piercing every inch of his being. He didn't know rather it hurt more to know Castiel was speaking the truth or that Dean had admitted himself yet tried to deny it. Sam has always tried to tell him, always tried to talk to him, but Dean was adamant on finding another way. He was never the kind to just do something because someone said he had to. He always had to find another way around things. But all that had done this time was cause a bigger hole to burn in his heart. The longer he denied what he knew deep down inside him, the longer he hurt himself and he hurt Sammy. Dean looked up at Castiel, his eyes meeting those of the angel. He hated how the man was always insufferably right.

Dean moved across the room to sit down on the edge of the hospital bed. He placed his head in his hands letting out a long awaited breath of air. Was it an epiphany, Dean didn't think so. It was more just like realizing that that intolerable tapping noise for the last two hours was really you tapping your foot on the ground. It was realizing that the only way to end what he wanted to end was to do it himself. He had to stop tapping his foot.

Dean had to say 'yes' to Michael and kill his brother. That was the end.

Dean looked up at Castiel. "Look, when all this done and if by some miracle I survive, don't come looking for me. Go back to heaven, stay here, whatever works better. But forget me and go live your life…or existence-whichever one you have. Go get high or just sleep with a girl for once without talking about her father. Hell, go get drunk Cas. But just promise me you'll have fun, because if Michael wins this world survives, and believe me it can have a lot to offer when the right song is playing with the right woman." Dean smiled lightly, standing up. "Thanks Cas." He held out his hand for Castiel to take.

Castiel looked from Dean's hand and back to his face.

"You're supposed to shake it."

A look of realization crossed Castiel's face as he took Dean's hand. "What are you thanking me for?"

"For being the biggest pain in the ass I've ever had." Dean said it with a laugh as he pulled Castiel into a respected man-hug. Castiel's face was blank as he mimicked Dean in putting his arms around him. Dean pulled away before Castiel really wondered what was going on. "It's called a hug. And I did get mushy and give you one, although I said I wouldn't. Now disappear, or fly away, whatever the hell it is you do."

Castiel looked at Dean for a few seconds before leaving. He believed he had made his point, although he hated having to. But he knew that he had to make Dean say yes or everything Sam and him had worked for will have been for nothing. All the people they had saved would die and all the demons they had put away would wreak havoc on the world. As much as he hated giving up he knew he had to and he was a believer in destiny no matter how much he denied it. Dean and Sam were the ones who started the Apocalypse and it would be them who would end it. Dean would survive, Castiel knew that and he prayed that Dean would survive without his brother. They were heading into a brave new world, and they all had to be ready for it.

***

"Hey Bobby, how are you doing?" Dean leaned up against the wall next to the payphone. He had checked out about ten minutes ago but Sam was not as lucky. Sam was beat and he hadn't woken now since the other night. Dean hoped he would wake soon because they needed to talk. They needed to say goodbye.

"Been better. But what do you need son?" Dean could here rattling in the background and voices that sounded exactly like Jo and Ellen. He smiled as Ellen's voice came closer, asking Bobby where the hell he kept the spatula. From Ellen's groan and Bobby's soft laugh he figured Bobby had simply shrugged, further inclining 'Why would I have a spatula? I don't cook.'

"I was just wondering if you had found anything more about how to stop Lucifer."

"Nothing since you called last Dean. Even Ellen and Jo don't know what to make of everything. We've been looking, believe me. My house looks like a damn hurricane went through it." Bobby sighed. "I'm sorry Dean."

"Don't be, I didn't expect anything anyway." Dean stared at the payphone as his last really small glimmer of hope disappeared. It's true he didn't expect much, but deep down he was hoping there would be something. A few soft seconds passed between them before Bobby's voice broke over the phone.

"Do you need anything else Dean?"

He needed to say goodbye. To let Bobby know he loved him and that Sam and him wouldn't be where they were without them. He wanted to say how grateful he was for everything, but the words just wouldn't come. He wasn't exactly a man of many words when he needed to be.

Dean sighed. "No Bobby, thanks."

"Are you OK boy? You don't sound like your usual self."

"I don't feel like my usual self." Dean paused. He may be a good actor, but not to his family. "Look Bobby, I just want you to know that if anything happens to me or Sam, we love you. You know, you've been like a father to us and…"

"Dean, what the hell are you talking about?" Bobby's voice was stern, with a warning tone not to do anything stupid.

"You wouldn't understand, no one could."

"Don't you dare do something stupid boy. Don't be an idjit." Bobby's voice cut off before he spoke again. "This doesn't have to be your fight, you don't have to do this alone."

"I do Bobby. I've always had to." Dean's voice cut off when Ellen's voice cut through the phone.

"Is that Dean?" Muffled sounds echoed through the speaker as the phone switched hands. He heard Bobby huff as Ellen spoke. "Hey boy, where've you been? We've missed you."

"I've missed you too Ellen." Dean smiled. "And I'm in Kansas right now, we're about to leave. There's a ghost haunting a carnival in Montana."

"You know you always were a bad liar. What's this about Dean?"

Dean shuffled his weight to his left foot, hating himself for even making the call. He didn't normally do stuff like this, normally he just went in guns loaded and didn't give a damn rather he made it out alive or not. But for some screwed up reason he was doing everything he was opposed to. Something in him had changed, like someone had flipped a switch. He didn't feel like himself anymore, that was for sure.

"I was just saying goodbye. I…"

"Oh hell no." Jo grabbed the phone from her mother. "Dean, you listen to me and you listen closely. We know what you're up to; some guy stopped by and told us everything. You guys can't say yes Dean."

"We have to Jo. I don't want to and I can't believe I am but if I don't all of humanity will suffer. I can't be selfish when 6.8 billion people are relying on me." A wave of tiredness rushed over Dean as the words tumbled from his lips. He was so tired of this, so tired of everything. He just wanted to end, for everything to just go black and stop hurting. He wanted the world to stop turning, he wanted to stop breathing, to stop being alive. He wanted the Apocalypse to end, he wanted Sam to have a normal life. But he could want all he wanted but nothing, nothing would change anything. He was where he was and it was time he faced the facts and did what he had to do. This had to end and even the ripping pain in his heart couldn't stop him. Sam would understand, he already did, but Dean would never accept that he was killing Sam. Dean would only do it, because they both knew he had to.

"Please don't try to stop me or Sam, it will only end badly. I've fought and tried so hard to find another way, but there isn't. Lucifer knows that, Michael knows that, and God knows that. It was only about time that I figured it out for myself." Dean paused. The least he could do is crack a damn joke to lighten the mood, but nothing was coming to him, except cold, dark emptiness. "Thank you, for everything. Goodbye."

"Dean! Don't…"

But Dean had already hung up the phone. He hadn't said what he planned to, but it was enough. It settled his soul just long enough for him to gain the strength back to talk to Sam. Dean started towards Sam's hospital room, his mind flying in a million different places. Everything was so surreal, and he could still remember like it was yesterday, the times when they were happy. He remembered the six months his whole family spent together, where there were smiles on their faces. Sam was too young to remember it but Dean did, he remembered every minute of it.

He thought back to when the djinn had made him see what life would have been like if his mom hadn't died. He remembered wanting it more than anything he'd ever wanted before, and he was wanting it now. He was wanting every damn thing the world wouldn't give him. He always let things roll off his back, he never let them effect him. But every emotion, every memory, was rushing back at him like ten million salt rounds. He was screaming inside; the words echoing through him. He hated the world at that moment more than he ever had. He hated Lucifer, he hated angels, he hated God, and he hated himself.

Dean stopped at Sam's room, opening the door slowly to enter. He pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat down to watch his brother sleep. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, but with every pound it was burning. He wished he could sleep like Sam and just forget everything for a few minutes. Watching his brother's chest rise up and down he felt tears threaten at his eyes. _Damn it Dean, don't cry. What are you a coward? Crying is ridiculous, a futile attempt at expressing emotion you can't express in words. Just think of food, women, anything. You knew this was coming, no matter how much you denied it. You're ready for this, and so is Sam. _

But no other thoughts intruded on his current ones. He was just thinking of death, hurt, love, what was, and what could have been. He was thinking of the end.

Three words broke past Dean's lips, cracking against the quiet air. "I'm sorry Sammy." A single tear fell from Dean's eye, breaking on the cold tile floor. The words echoed through Dean, but for Sam they would be forever in a whisper.

_Let me hold you in your arms,_

_And tell you it's OK._

_Let the world slip away_

_With the waves of a forgotten storm._

_Let your words echo against the sky._

* * *

I-First off, thank you so much for reading and I hope you liked it. Again I know Dean is adamant against saying 'no' in the series but I believe he will say 'yes' eventually and this was me playing that up in a different way.

II-I thought I'd bring Jo and Ellen in for all of you readers, who like me, balled your eyes out when they died. This was just my small tribute to the only girls I have ever really liked on Supernatural. (Besides Mary, of course.)

III-Please review and let me know what you think. I know I say that every time but it's my intensified curiosity kicking in. I want to know what you all think. Anyway, thank you for reading and I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. I won't promise a date because I'm not a fan of breaking promises, but I will try my damndest to get it up within the next couple weeks. Anyway, thanks for reading, and stay tuned for Chapter 6.


	6. Shattered by a Movement

**Forever in a Whisper**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. Supernatural belongs to the cast, crew, the CW, and it's wonderful creator, Eric Kripke.**

I'd like to thank you all for reading, I greatly appreciate it. I hope you like this chapter. It's kind of different then how I wanted it to go but I still like it. Anyway, thank you again and please enjoy.

* * *

_Forever seems like such a long time._

_The hands of the clock tangle together,_

_Creating a hole deeper than the one in my heart._

_The ticking echoes through my un-tuned ears,_

_Scraping against unhealed scars._

"Hey Sammy, how are you feeling?" Dean smiled as Sam slowly woke up. He was seated in the chair next to Sam's hospital bed, just watching his brother. Memories flashed through his mind, good and bad. He remembered teaching Sam to ride a bike, and letting him drive the Impala for the first time. He remembered standing beside him when Sam made his first kill, and standing beside him when Sam freed Lucifer. He remembered when Sam was born, and he was remembering something that had not yet happened. He was remembering killing his brother. He knew it wouldn't be him that was doing it, it would be Michael. But still knowing that it would be his hand that would do it, ripped through him. Sam would say it was OK, that he understand it must be done to save the planet, but it made no difference. He was supposed to protect his little brother, not let him be possessed by the devil and then murdered by an angel. By him.

Sam broke Dean out of his spirit killing reverie as he sat up slowly, shaking the hospital bed with his massive size. "Dean, what happened?"

"We got in a car crash. Castiel pulled us out, of which he made clear we should be pretty damn grateful."

"Castiel. When did you talk to him?"

"About an hour ago, he popped in unannounced. But how are you?"

"I'm fine Dean. Alive." Sam shifted in the bed, looking at his brother. "Are you okay? You look exhausted."

Dean scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "I'm always exhausted."

"Yeah, but you're never exhausted with that look on your face. What's wrong with you Dean?"

"Nothing. Why do people always assume there's something wrong with me?"

"First off, I'm not 'people', I'm your brother, and two I don't assume Dean, I know. You've been acting weird all week and you know it. This whole thing's finally getting to you, even though you don't want it to. I mean, the things I heard from you other night, I never expected them. What changed your mind Dean? What made you feel like you finally have to say yes?"

Dean avoided his brother's gaze. "Can we not talk about that now please?" He just wanted to be with his brother, and only his brother. Not with the hunter.

"Fine, then what do you want to talk about?" Sam looked down at his brother, not understanding anything about where he was coming from. Something in Dean had changed and Sam was trying to figure out rather he liked it or not.

Dean smiled weakly, looking down at the ground. "Remember when you were 9 and we were staying in this really old motel in Montana, and Dad was out hunting a demon? It was just the two of us and there was a big thunderstorm that knocked out all of the electricity. You always hated it when there was no light, and I remember there were no candles in the room. I said I'd walk to the store and pick some up but you wouldn't let me leave you there alone. So we both trekked down to the store together in nothing warm but Dad's sweaters. We were soaked to the bone by the time we got back, but by that time, neither of us cared. You were exhausted and you just kind of plopped down on the curb, Dad's sweater engulfing you." Dean smiled lightly, laughing. "I sat down next to you and we spent the next few hours just sitting there talking. Dad came home around 1 and nearly skinned both our behinds. I thought he'd never forgive us for staying up that late but he was fine the next day. But rather he killed us or not I didn't regret spending that time with you. Now that I look back on it, that was one of the only times we spent more than a few hours together outside of driving in the Impala."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, and I remember we had to leave at 5 that morning. We both passed out in the Impala, much to Dad's disproval."

"Do you remember when Dad got the Impala? That thing was a piece of junk, but he was determined to fix it up. Between him and Bobby the car was good as new in a month." Dean's smile faded lightly. "Castiel kind of left out where the Impala was, and what condition she was in."

"I'm sure she's fine Dean." Sam never could understand Dean's weird obsession with the Impala. It was really just a car.

"You better hope she's fine or your ass is getting under the hood to help me fix it."

Sam laughed. "And here I was thinking I'd never tough the Impala again."

Sam's laughter slowly faded into the air as the two brothers sat in comfortable silence. Dean didn't want to talk about what he knew he had to talk about. He didn't want to bring up that elephant that was always in the room with them yet so quiet. He could hear the words echoing in his mind, screaming behind closed lips. He wanted to let them go but he just couldn't talk about it. Or, more like he just didn't want to.

Sam studied his brother. He still couldn't figure out where Dean's words had come from that night. It sounded like Dean had meant it but it just didn't make much sense to hear Dean saying those words. _I think I have to say yes. _Those were the words that bothered Sam the most. Yes was not a word in Dean's vocabulary anymore and hearing him admit to something they both knew was, overwhelming.

Sam understood what had to be done, always had. Of course he fought against it and always went with Dean to find a way out of it, but under it all he knew the truth. He knew more than Dean did and it was hard to see his brother the way he was. They both knew what saying yes meant, that by saying it they gave themselves away to a battle that could kill them. But they gave to that battle, to Lucifer and Michael, to help save the world from an Apocalypse. All this was really beyond them. In their hands yes, but beyond them. This battle had been planned for years and Heaven and Hell had been ready for it long before he or Dean were born. Sam believed in fate and destiny. Sam liked to think that you could change it but he had seen enough over the last year to know that some things were just meant to happen.

Sam went to speak when Dean broke the silence first. "I never thought that five years ago we'd be where we are today. I mean you wouldn't hunt if someone paid you a million dollars but you came with me anyways. I still wonder what would have happened if you had stayed. Would Lucifer had risen, would we be sitting here? There's just so many 'ifs' you know?" Dean looked down at his hands, playing with the ring on his finger. He looked back up at Sam, meeting his gaze with his brother's. "Why'd you come Sam? What was the real reason behind everything? I know it wasn't me or Dad, so what was it?"His question wasn't demanding but simply a question of curiosity, of really wanting to know what changed his brothers mind. He had said things over time but Dean knew there had to be a real reason why he didn't tell Dean to get the hell out of leave him alone.

Sam looked at his brother. He knew why now but when he had done it, he hadn't. He had thought he was just hunting to save his father but he had stuck around. And now he didn't know if he even planned to ever return to the way things were. That was another life, one that ended the day he left that night with Dean. "Because I missed it Dean. I know that's unbelievable, but I did. I hated hunting, but it was a part of me, one I realize now that I could never run away from. Beneath telling myself that it would only last until we found Dad, I knew that I wanted it to last longer. Then we started hunting and something awoke inside of me. I found I missed hunting with you, even when you were a complete pain in my ass." Sam smiled.

"I missed hunting, and I missed being a family. I don't regret leaving to go to school, but I don't regret going with you either. All of this may have happened but I don't care. I mean, if we say yes and we don't make it through, I'll die happy. I'll die knowing I lived my life as best as I could and that every minute was worth it no matter how bad they were. And I can say that even though I hated hunting it saved people's lives, and that's what really matters. That's why I kept doing it. Hunting may have ruined my life but it saved others. And really, there's nothing better than spending every day with you in the Impala and your horribly overplayed cassette tapes." Sam paused. His last comment brought a small smile to Dean's face before Sam continued. "But what about you Dean? Why did you really come get me, and why did you keep hunting?"

"Because I don't know how to do anything else." Dean paused. "I kept hunting because it was the one thing that kept me sane. When I was hunting I was happy rather it was with Dad, you, or both of you. And that's what I loved, that we were together. We were a family. That's why I came to get you Sam. One, I needed help, but it was because I missed you. I missed us hunting together. I missed the way we bickered over the little things, the way you corrected me all the time, and hell I even missed your damn gas. And believe me, that's a hard thing to miss." Dean smiled softly, looking up at Sam and meeting his brother's gaze. "I missed you Sammy. I missed my little brother."

Dean's heart seemed to be ripping into a million different pieces. Looking into Sam's eyes he saw everything they'd been through together. He saw all the moments that they thought they'd never get out of but they did. He saw the time he had held Sam in his arms why he died and then he saw when he had made his deal for Sam's life. These images flashed past his eyes, sending shivers over his whole body. They'd been through so much to get to this point and the two of them were damn luck they were even alive. New images started flashing, ones that haunted Dean in his nightmares. They were images of the future, of things he had seen and things he knew were to come.

"And here I thought I was the annoying, know-it-all little brother who made you want to smother me with a pillow."

"Oh, you still are Sammy. That, will never change." The two smiled, both looking off in the distance. A few minutes passed between them, full of comfortable seconds that ticked by slowly. It was Sam who broke the silence. "What are we going to do Dean?"

"Sam…" Dean didn't want to talk about it, not now.

"We have to talk about it." Sam shifted on the hospital bed, turning to look at Dean. "You heard what Cole said and you know the time has come. We can't deny it anymore Dean, we just can't. This has been at our backs for months and we've been pushing it away, ignoring what we know will come. If we keep doing that, this won't turn out to be good for either of us."

"So then what do you want to talk about Sam? The fact that one or both of us won't make it out of this? Or do want to talk about the fact that whatever we do we really have no choice in the matter? Never have." Dean's eye were level with Sam's and they seemed to be on fire, sending chills through Sam's body.

"We do have a choice Dean."

"Do we Sam? Whatever we do this thing follows us everywhere and nothing we have done has changed any of that. Cole, Zachariah, Lucifer, they all say this is what will be. I mean, even God has abandoned us Sam, so who are we to really think that we can change anything. We're human, we're just pawns in Heaven and Hell's game."

"We don't have to be Dean. Lucifer and Michael need us so as long as we say no, they can't fight each other." Dean's change of thought was surprising Sam, throwing everything he thought he knew about Dean's beliefs out the window. In a sense he was right, but Sam hated thinking that.

"Yes, but as long as we say no, Lucifer rains Hell down on Earth. We can't stop him until he fights Michael. The only way to do that is for me to say to yes. You don't have to Sam, but I do. I have to do what Heaven said I would and end the Apocalypse."

"You don't have to do it alone Dean."

"Yes, I do."

"No, Dean you don't." Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder, looking him deeply in the eyes. "We started this together, we'll end it together. Whatever you choice to do I'll stand behind you as you will stand behind me. We'll get through this Dean, just as we have got through everything else. And no matter what happens, we still have each other and that's what really matters. Lucifer, Michael, God, they can't take that away from us, and that's something we have that they will never have. It's family that will get us through this, that has always got us through."  
Dean didn't speak, but moved his gaze away from Sam's. Family. Family seemed so simple but for Dean, it was really the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world. He wanted his mother back, and he wanted his father back. He wanted to be back at their house with pictures decorating the walls, Mary's cooking wafting through the rooms. He wanted to watch a baseball game on Saturday night where John yelled at the screen and Mary just sat back and laughed. He wanted to be a family again, and have none of this have ever happened. But none of that would ever be, it would always just be a dream.

He looked up at Sam, seeing his little brother staring back at him. God, how he missed seeing a smile on his face, a light in his eyes. He regretted ever asking Sam to come with him, if he hadn't maybe they wouldn't be where they were. If Dean had just put away the images of a life he wanted, Sam may have had the one he wanted. Dean smiled at Sam, tears fighting at his eyes. Dean knew what he had to do, what he was going to do once he left that room. He didn't want to do, Sam was telling him not to do it alone, but he had to. If Sam didn't know what he was doing, things were a little bit easier.

"Thank you Sammy." Dean's voice cracked, slipping past his lips.

"For what Dean?" Sam questioned.

"For making these last five years worth living, even when you did annoy the crap out of me." It was a sad smile that crossed Dean's face and Dean knew Sam wasn't taking any of it. He knew Sam didn't believe he was OK and he suspected something, but still Sam didn't say anything.

"Well you know, that's my job. I am your brother." Sam smiled. He could see the pain in Dean's face and he could feel the rip that was forming inside of himself. The future loomed over him like a dark cloud, smothering his being. He could see it, what was to be. The images were haunting and they broke through the happiness inside of him. The Apocalypse was here, and there was no going back.

"And I couldn't have asked for anything more." Dean's voice cracked. If he didn't die, Sam would. Dean prayed it would be him because Sam deserved to start over and live the life he never had. Sam deserved what hunting had so selfishly taken away from him. Tears battled to escape his eyes, but Dean couldn't let them. He couldn't cry now, not when he had shed so many tears before. "I love you Sammy."

"Dean, what's come over you?"

"Nothing. Things just got a little bit clearer that's all."

"Clearer, meaning what?" He knew what Dean was going to do but he couldn't really stop him. Dean was right in what he was saying, in what he was doing. He wanted to make Sam believe everything was OK but Sam could see that Dean was fighting to control himself. Dean knew that this was the last conversation they may ever have, that was why he didn't want to talk about the Apocalypse. Dean was trying to save Sam from what he was doing. He was trying to save Sam from the pain they would both endure, but Dean couldn't protect him anymore.

"Clearer meaning everything makes a lot more sense now."

The door opened behind them as both their eyes shot towards the nurse. She gave a small smile apologizing for interrupting. "Sorry, I need to check on Samuel."

Sam looked at Dean as Dean stood up slowly. Dean took Sam's hand in his own, staring down at them. He looked up at Sam, a tear finally falling, shattering the air between them. "A long time ago I never thought I could be happy. But I am now Sam. I'm happy." Dean smiled. "I love you Sammy and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." Dean pulled his hand away, turning his back on his brother as he left the room. Sam's touch still lingered as he walked down the hallway, the tears finally falling from his eyes. He was doing this for Sammy, for his little brother. He was going to save him. He was going to save the world.

Dean left the hospital, the cold winter air stinging his burning skin. He walked down the sidewalk, and kept walking. He didn't how long his feet pounded the cement, or how many breaths escaped his lungs, but he did know the one name that was echoing through him.

Dean stopped in the middle of the street. No cars drove past him and not a single person walked down the road. The air was silent and all Dean could hear was his labored breath. The world seemed to vibrate through his bones as he looked to the sky. He was picturing his mother up there. He prayed she was happy and not worrying about what was going on below. But as he thought of her, he asked her for strength. He could see her face, and that smile which was always there. He held on to that image as he spoke.

"Michael."

The word echoed loudly against Dean's ears, ripping through him. Nothing happened for a few minutes until a ripple ripped through him. Dean shut his eyes as a blinding light grew in front of him. He opened them slowly as the light dimmed slightly. A human form was standing in the light, but it was faceless. Michael stood there motionless, waiting for Dean to spoke. He had waited centuries for this moment to come, and now Dean Winchester was finally saying yes.

Dean looked at Michael, his gut clenching in his stomach. The moment was here and it felt like a dream. He had denied it for so long that he had never even imagined it actually happening. Not even in his dreams did he see himself here. This was not the ending he had wanted.

Dean's voice held itself in his throat, waiting. The word wouldn't come to him as he fought to grab it. When he finally found it, the word came out strong and hard, hanging in the air forever. It shattered the atmosphere as it decided the fate of the world.

"Yes."

_Who knew that tears,_

_So fragile and clear_

_Could cause so much pain?_

_Who knew that they could fall_

_And break the heart of a man?_

* * *

Thank you so much for reading and I will try and get Chapter 7 up as soon as I can. Please leave a review if you can, it would be greatly appreciated. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I hope you stay tuned for the rest of the story. Thank-you.


	7. Hurt by Eternity

**Hurt by Eternity**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, that belongs to the CW, the cast, the crew, and the marvellous Eric Kripke.**

Here's a new chapter everyone, hope you all like it. I tried to update as fast as I could and amazingly it only took me a week and a half.

I'd like to take this chance and just thank all of you for such wonderful reviews, I really appreciate them. I'd also like to thank you all for just reading this story, it really means a lot to me to see people reading it. So please enjoy and review if you can. Thanks.

* * *

_These are my scars-_

_So deep and true,_

_Burning with a thousand tears._

_This is my life,_

_And this is the end._

The world turned on it's axis, turning night into day and day into night. The universe watched, smiling in peaceful bliss, unaware of the screams and cries rumbling below. The noise echoed off the stars, dying in the cold soundless light of the moon. A fire raged on Earth, tearing and scaring at the makeshift serenity of its inhabitants. The fire licked at every inch of brick and stone, smoldering the skin with entangled fingers. Suffocated air layered the reddened soil and screams remained half finished in scorched throats. Feet littered the ground, the sound echoing to the waking core below.

Hell had risen and Heaven couldn't do anything about it.

"_Yes…but only if you promise me one thing."_

Michael stood in the middle of the road, examining the new world around him. It had been centuries since he'd been to Earth, centuries since he'd felt his father's creation underneath his feet. His vessels senses seemed to be registering everything around him, a feeling that was overwhelming Michael's new existence.

In all honesty, Michael was beginning to doubt that Dean Winchester would ever say yes. He was beginning to fear-if he even could- that Lucifer would get what he had always wanted. His father had told him not to worry, that what was prophesized to be would come to be. His father was always right, had been for years. But the end was coming quickly and if Dean hadn't said yes when he did, it would have been too late for Sam would have spoken.

Michael started down the road, letting the humanity's air fill Dean's lungs. The air stung, burning Dean's lungs. Michael choked on it with every intake, the history of the human existence flashing through him. The human's had destroyed the world, destroyed what God had created, and there was no going back. As Michael walked, a cold realization fell over him. This was the world his father had so carefully molded, and with every step Michael could see how his brother had destroyed it. Lucifer was killing Earth, and with every minute he remained there, the more devastation he caused.

Michael knew where he had to go to find Lucifer. He knew just as much as his vessel did. Lucifer was going after Sam Winchester and Michael needed to stop him before Sam said yes. It was said that Sam would say yes in Detroit, but they were Kansas, and as Dean had said 'yes' first, they would never go to Detroit, and Sam would never say yes.

Michael went to go to the hospital when a voice he hadn't heard in decades, broke through his thoughts.

"Michael."

Michael turned around to see Gabriel-his brother. Gabriel stood in the middle of the road, just as Michael did. The sun shone behind him, reflecting off the world around him. Gabriel took a few steps towards Michael, closing the small gap between them. The two brothers looked at each other, their eyes searching those of the other.

"Gabriel." It was just the exchange of names, recognizing the other just like saying hello. But for the two brothers the exchange was much more than their names. It was the 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' of a dozen decades. It was the hundreds of conversations they'd missed out on since Gabriel's departure and the hundreds of fights caused by sibling rivalry. It was the love they felt for each other, and the pain they both felt over what was happening.

"It's been a long time brother." Michael's voice was hard and calm as he spoke, but there was emotion in it, an emotion that could only be called love.

"Too long. How have you been?" Gabriel's face showed the emotion he felt, something he had grown to know after spending years with humans.

"Better." Michael wasn't one of many words as he had spent most of his existence listening to his father and thinking about how he was going to stop Lucifer.

"How's Father?" Gabriel hadn't heard from anyone in his family in so many years that he was forgetting what they used to be like. He was forgetting the arguments they all had with each other over who was right. He was forgetting the way his father's brow knitted and his fist clenched whenever Gabriel let his mouth run. He was forgetting when he used to just talk with Michael and forget about everything around them- Heaven, Hell, and Earth.

"Depends. Do you want to hear the good or the bad?" Michael shifted his weight from foot to foot slowly. Seeing Gabriel was like a dream, a dream he had never actually had, but had always wanted.

Gabriel smiled. "All's still not good in Heaven. Surprise." Gabriel's' words brought a smile to Michael's face, or at least that's what he thought it was.

"You know you can come back Gabe."

Gabriel sighed. "I left for a reason, to stay out of everything. I have no interest in going back Mikey. I like it here."

"You like it here?" A look of disbelief crossed Michael's face. It wasn't that Earth wasn't beautiful, it was just that there was something to it that didn't match Heaven or what his father had originally created.

"I do. The food's nice, the women are beautiful, and the people are delightful." Gabriel smirked, cocking his head at Michael. "But I'm not here to discuss the beauty of Earth, I'm here to help you save it."

A few silent seconds passed between the two brothers. "Thanks for your offer Gabriel, but this is between Lucifer and I. You left Heaven to stay out of the Apocalypse, so don't go back on that."

"I left Heaven to get away from the increased levels of testosterone in this family. Do you know how exasperating it is constantly arguing then making up and arguing again? And two, if I heard Dad say one more thing about Lucifer's actions I was going to flip." Gabriel paused, turning his face serious. "I left because I wanted to see Earth. I wanted to see what we were fighting for and who it was we were fighting for. By leaving I left the Apocalypse behind in Heaven, but I didn't leave it behind here. Up there the Apocalypse is a thought, just spoken words. Down here, it's real Mikey. Down here, I see it every time I turn the corner and I can feel Lucifer pushing down on my shoulders as each day passes. You don't realize the real gravity of everything until you've seen it firsthand." Gabriel paused, looking Michael in the eye. "I fell in love with Earth and I won't let it be destroyed. I want to help you stop Lucifer. I have to."

"I don't understand you." Michael hadn't reacted or even moved as Gabriel spoke. He just watched as his brother said what he had left out that day he had left.

"No one understands me." Gabriel smirked. "Even I have a hard problem understanding myself. But right now, I understand this. Heaven may be my birthplace, but Earth is my home. And just as you would never let Heaven be destroyed, I won't let Earth be destroyed. You do this for Dad, I know that, and I do to. But I fight not just for him, but for the rest of his children. I'm coming with you and you can't stop me."

"This isn't your fight."

"This is everyone's fight."

"And you've already played your part, here on Earth. Let me take care of this Gabe, just as it was always meant to be. Killing one brother is enough, so don't force me to take the chance of losing another."

"What, you think I can't fend for myself?"

"That's not what I said. I just don't want to take the chance."

"Chance is a big word brother."

"And loss is a big word too." Michael sighed. "Please Gabriel, listen to me. It's for your own good."

"It's for my own good." Gabriel shook his head. "Since when did you ever care about my well being?"

"I always have. You're my little brother, I have to protect you."

"You don't have to do anything." Anger tinted Gabriel's voice. He should have known he could never run from their arguments. Gabriel scoffed. "Coming here was a mistake. Clearly offering help to you just wounds your pathetic pride." Gabriel turned around to leave, giving one last look at his brother.

"Gabe…"

"What?" Gabriel snapped, turning back around to look at Michael.

"I'm allowed to care about what happens to you. I may not be obliged to but I want to. When you left Heaven I at least knew that you were away from everything; that you were existing as you wanted to." Michael paused. "You said you wanted to know who it was you were fighting for and now you know them. When all this is over they're going to need someone to continue fighting for them here on Earth. I'll go back to Heaven and do what I can from there, but you can help from here. If you come into this with me and don't come out, they don't have anyone. So if you don't care to stay alive for me, Father, or Heaven, do it for them."

Gabriel didn't respond right away. He let his brother's words filter through him as he sighed lightly. Michael had a point, just as his brother always did. But underneath Gabriel's own pride he knew Michael was right. This wasn't his fight, it never had been. His fight was when it was all over and he helped build Earth back up again. He was no use to humans dead.

"You know I'm right." Michael's voice cut through Gabriel's reverie.

"Yeah, unfortunately." Gabriel paused, looking to the sky. It had begun to rain heavily over the last few minutes as storm clouds gathered above. Some would say Heaven was angry but Gabriel and Michael both knew it was the opposite. Thunder cracked as lightning lit up the sky, blinding the angels with each passing flash. Gabriel looked back at Michael. "You should hurry up. Lucifer is working on the Winchester now, and he has no idea yet that Dean has said yes." Gabriel paused. "The end is here Michael, so give us a new beginning." And with that the archangel was gone, a remnant of the past.

Michael stared at the spot where his brother had disappeared. A few seconds passed before Michael too disappeared. It was time to give the world a new beginning.

A shiver vibrated through Sam's body that shook him out of his reverie. He had been thinking about Dean. He had wanted to run after him, every part of his being told him to, but the doctor wouldn't let him. He had fought against it but they said that the head injury he had sustained was too bad to be up on his feet so suddenly. He knew what Dean was doing and that shiver seemed to tell him Dean had already done it. Sam knew Lucifer would be coming for him but he couldn't say 'yes'. He knew why Dean had done it before him. Dean's plan was to sacrifice himself for Sam by letting Michael possess him and kill Lucifer before Lucifer could possess Sam. Dean was still trying to change what was expected of them. Sam was supposed to say 'yes' no matter what, but in Dean's frame of mind, Sam couldn't say 'yes' if Lucifer wasn't there to say it to.

An anger bubbled within Sam that Dean would do this without talking to him first. He knew why Dean did it, Sam would have done the same thing in his position, but it still hurt Sam to think that his own brother was sacrificing his life for him. Dean had done so much for him already and here he was doing even more. Sam didn't deserve it, Dean was the one who deserved to live. This was all Sam's fault so why should he be the one to live? Why should he be the one to make it through everything unscathed? Sam was the one who should be sacrificing his life for Dean, just as Dean had done for him. But that was Dean, always putting others a mile before himself.

Sam felt a rip in his heart. It wasn't the kind of rip you feel when your lover leaves you after 2 years or the kind of rip when you lose a friend, but it was the kind of rip that continued to tear through your body even when there was nothing left. It was the kind of rip that opened you up and emptied your whole life in your hands. It was the kind of rip that was miles away from being healed, and the kind that grew and grew and grew until it touched the universe and rippled far from your hold. This rip left Sam's heart empty and his soul dark and empty. It darkened the corners of the world and lightened the shadows. It made him see every line on his hands and every person those hands had killed. It made him see the blood he craved, the woman he had once loved, and the man he had once been. The rip showed Sam the world, the world he knew he lived in, but didn't want to accept.

Sam stood up suddenly, the room spinning around him. He grabbed his head as he started for the doorway. He was going after Dean, and there was nothing they could do about it. But Sam stopped in his tracks as a bottomless shadow grew behind him. The darkness seeped into his heart as he slowly turned around. Lucifer stood in the corner, a light falling on his hollowed face. His skin was charred and peeling from his bones. He appeared to be in pain, just barely holding on to his vessel. The man Lucifer had once possessed was not the man he was now. He was stooped, his breath coming in prolonged intervals. But his eyes, his eyes burned deep into Sam's soul showing him images he had never even dreamed of. They destroyed all happiness Sam had in his soul, stripping him down. In Lucifer's eyes he saw what Lucifer had seen, and he saw the strength Lucifer still possessed even if the body had grown weak.

"Lucifer." Sam's voice was laden with hate, venom seeping through each syllable.

"Sam." Lucifer acknowledged the man who was to be his vessel. He stepped out of the shadows, his body moving slowly.

"I won't say 'yes', so stop trying. This war is over now."

"This war is never over, not so long as your pitiful race walks this Earth."

Sam examined Lucifer. "You really are pathetic." There was a small shift in Lucifer's face, but Sam couldn't tell if it was anger or just a twitch. "Don't you realize? Without the human race-demons, you-you all have nothing. What will you use for vessels, who will you play around with?" Sam cocked his head at Lucifer. "As much as you hate us, you need us. But your arrogance can't bring you to admit that."

Lucifer laughed, a deep bellow that echoed from his chest to the room. A wicked grin crossed his face, morphing the deep lines that criss-crossed his face. "Did you really think I planned to destroy Earth and not save a few of your kind? Unfortunately, we need you and that can't be helped. But I do plan to destroy as many of you as I can, and those who survive will live on Earth under my rule, not my fathers. The dawn of a new age has finally emerged, and look around you Sam, it's beautiful." Lucifer reveled in the world he was creating, the world that should have always existed. His father was weak to believe in humans as he did, weak to believe in something that could never be. Lucifer wouldn't bow down to them; he wasn't going to be weak.

"Look Sam, I know what you think of me, but you just don't understand."

"Oh, I understand perfectly." Sam felt a shiver in the air that woke Sam's senses. The shiver wasn't the breeze coming from the window but it was a shiver that possessed power and leaked into every inch of his being.

"Do you really Sam?" Lucifer crossed the room to stand right in front of Sam. Both of their eyes met, their gazes unwavering. "Do you know how it feels to love somebody so much you would die for them, but all they do is cast you away? Do you know how it feels to scream and fight against something so hard you're spirit actually breaks? Do you know Sam, the feeling of having your whole family look on you with downcast eyes and call you a disgrace? Or what about having the whole world curse your name and 'cleanse' you from their souls?" Lucifer paused, his eyes searching Sam's.

"No Sam, you don't know, and so you don't understand. I didn't choice to be this way, I just am. I'm this way because I was foolish enough to love my father so much that in trying to help him, I didn't realize my words meant nothing to him. It hurts Sam, right here." Lucifer put a hand on his chest. "Yes, against popular belief, I do have a heart. And my heart burns, broken after years of being hated and disgraced. You know, I haven't had someone say a nice thing to me in over three centuries." Lucifer laughed softly. "So that's why I'm this way Sam. That's why I hate this world, because it ended everything good I ever had. I mean, you understand family, so you know what it's like to love someone unconditionally. You had a brother…a father, and they all loved you. Mine hate me, and I can never get them back." Lucifer paused, heated seconds passing between them. "So when everything you love leaves you Sam, then you come to me and tell me you understand. Because right now, you don't even know the whole of it." Lucifer's face was unwavering as he searched Sam's eyes. A minute passed between them, the two people-demon and human- exchanging a gaze that said more than words.

Sam was the first to back away, averting his gaze away from the burning one of Lucifer. His words flowed like water through Sam's mind, getting louder and louder with each passing second. Lucifer's words didn't change Sam's opinion of who Lucifer was, but to hear what he really thought of everything that had been done to him, was overwhelming. He didn't appear to be lying, his voice portraying a broken man, who had built up a façade to be strong.

Like Sam had.

Some of Lucifer's words penetrated harder into Sam's core. Family. He spoke of family, of being disowned and disgraced. Sam hadn't literally but he felt like that more than a few times. He knew by the way Dean looked at him that Dean was angry at him, that he blamed Sam to some extent for everything. Dean had made it clear he hated Ruby, he hated the demon blood, the powers, and quietly he hated that Sam had broken the seal. Sam felt disgraced by Dean, his brother. And at one point in his life he felt disgraced by his father.

Sam turned to look back at Lucifer. Another shiver whipped up his spine, this time more powerful and longer than the last. Sam had a weird feeling something was coming, something big. In the back of his mind he knew what.

"I'm still not saying 'yes'"

"Oh come on Sam. Don't you see, this is exactly what this world needs. A new beginning. You need to open your eyes, see everything the way I do."

"I'm good thanks."

Lucifer stepped towards Sam, looking up at him. "Say yes Sam." A fire flickered in his eyes, a fire that pierced Sam's soul. Lucifer gripped Sam's wrist, his bony fingers digging into his cold skin. Sam felt his whole body weaken as a searing pain shot through him. Rather it was Lucifer or that insistent shiver, Sam didn't know.

Sam looked down at Lucifer. "No, find somebody else. Dean and I are tired of playing this game, and we won't play it anymore." Sam whipped his arm out of Lucifer's hand, causing the man to fall back a little.

"Oh, but where has little Dean run off to? I haven't seen him around." A sadistic smile crossed Lucifer's face.

"It doesn't matter." A loud crash could be heard outside the hospital room as both Lucifer and Sam looked in that direction. A women's scream pierced the sky outside as thunder cracked loudly, echoing off the world. More screams filled the air as Lucifer's smile grew bigger.

"And it has begun."

"Just as it will end."

Lucifer turned around slowly, the words opening scars that had healed years ago.

"Michael."

"Brother."

_Deep cries,_

_Pierce forgotten skies. _

_Fire licks cold ground,_

_Covering tombs in sodden ash._

_It has begun._

* * *

Thank you everyone for reading and I hoped you liked it.

Please review it really helps, and please stay tuned for Chapter 8-Murdered by Love. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day.


	8. Murdered by Love

**Murdered by Love**

_I want to lay you down,_

_Where the sun still shines_

_And the sky sparkles in constant bliss._

_I want to let you know that_

_Everything will be OK._

"_Michael."_

"_Brother."_

Silence echoed through the room, a supernatural vibration filling the spaces in between. The world seemed to shake; to cry out as these two beings finally met. They were two brothers, two brothers who had once loved each other and now found hatred so deep it burnt a scar in the earth. Both brothers gazes met, a story older than human kind being told between them. They were Cain and Abel, the first brothers to touch Earth and the first brothers to show what love and hate really meant.

Sam looked at them both, starting at Lucifer and ending on Michael. Or was it Dean? Sam couldn't tell. It was his brothers body, his features, his voice; but the eyes were not Dean's. The eyes were a cold misty grey, the colour swirling within the iris. They held power, a cold hard power that made Sam's bones weak and his skin crawl. They were the eyes of an archangel. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and here those eyes were the window to Michael, to heaven, and to every living being on Earth.

Sam tried to move, to get further away from Lucifer and Michael, but the scene in front of him and the power in the room kept his feet planted to the hospital floor. The world around him screamed as everything finally reached its climax. Lucifer's children howled as they ransacked and murdered, strolling nimbly through the earthen streets. Lucifer had ordered it to begin and Death's fingers clung at every inch of the Earth as demons of all order played out Lucifer's plan. They didn't know where their leader was or who he was with, as they did what they had been wanting to do for over a millennium. It was the Apocalypse, and there in that hospital room was where the fate of the world would be decided. Only one brother would come out alive. Lucifer or Michael.

And as for Sam, he had a feeling that Dean would the brother to die, not him.

Looking at his brother, Sam felt a pain in his chest he never thought he could feel. Dean had gone and done it, after everything they'd been through, Dean had gone and done it. Dean would be left broken if Lucifer didn't kill Michael, he would become a body incasing a silent soul. Dean would never drive the Impala again, never have too many drinks, and he would never make another reference to Pop Culture that very few people would understand.

And he would never wake Sam up in the morning to 'Heat of the Moment', he would never freeze Sam's computer on a porn site and lie about it, and he would never annoy him as brothers are meant to do. Dean would never be Dean again.

Sam understood why Dean did it. He understood everything Dean had ever done or said even when it pissed him off. He understood why Dean kept information about Hell to himself and why he hated Sam for what he was. Sam really understood why his brother did what he did, even if he didn't want to accept it. He loved Dean, he always had and that was what had kept them going for so long, even when the world tried to pull them down. Love.

Looking at Dean now he felt a love he never knew existed, a love for his brother that shed every other emotion out of his body. Dean had risked his life for the world, for Sam. Dean had given up his whole life long ago for others. Dean may say that once a hunter always a hunter, but he could have stopped, yet he didn't. Dean never stopped even when he could. And here, when he could have said no, and just let everything happen, he didn't.

Sam knew this was the end for them, but Dean knew it was a beginning for the world. Sam knew Dean wouldn't have done it if he knew Sam didn't understand. He wouldn't have said yes if Sam didn't know that it was OK to move on, that it was OK to live his life with Dean gone. Dean would never have said yes if he knew Sam wasn't going to be OK.

Sam was snapped back to reality when Lucifer's voice finally broke the silence. "How's Father?" Lucifer cocked his head as he looked at Michael.

"You have no right to talk about Father, not after what you've done." When Michael spoke a weird sensation came over Sam. It was Dean's voice, but it wasn't.

"And what is it I've done brother, other than follow what I believe in as Father always taught us to?" There was a slight mocking tone in Lucifer's voice.

"No, Father taught us to be obedient, honest, and loyal." Michael enforced the final word, a cold tone seeping into his voice.

"Brother." Lucifer took a step towards his brother.

"Move no further Lucifer. It is time this comes to an end." Michael began walking towards Lucifer.

"Samuel, say it." Lucifer spoke through gritted teeth, his attention centered on Michael. He could fight his brother, he had no doubt about that, but in all honesty he was weak, and he couldn't hold him off forever. He needed Sam Winchester or else it was all over. Everything would end and his brother and his father…the humans, they would all get what they wanted. Lucifer had planned on Sam saying yes and his brother saying no, he was so sure it was going to happen. He was almost there too. Sam would have broke if Dean hadn't said anything, Lucifer only needed a little bit longer. But here he was, and if he had to go down, he was going down fighting. His brother wasn't going to get the best out of him so easily.

Michael looked from Sam to Lucifer. He knew what Lucifer was trying to do, but he couldn't allow that. Samuel Winchester was not allowed to say 'yes' or his whole plan would change. Lucifer was not allowed to get his vessel.

A bright white light shot out of Michael's hand, aimed directly at Sam. Sam went to move, but he was pushed aside by a blurred figure, falling on the ground beside Lucifer. Sam looked up just in time to see the white light hit Castiel. He heard himself scream Castiel's name as he moved after him. Lucifer's arm shot up to stop him, holding him back as the light grew larger, blinding Sam. He had to turn away as everything went silent, and the world seemed to drop from under his feet. Vibrations echoed through the room as the light slowly ebbed away. Sam opened his eyes tentatively, his heart dropping in his chest, as they focused on the room around him. Castiel was nowhere to be seen, but Sam knew better than to hope for something good to have happened.

Castiel had sacrificed himself for Sam, had put himself in front of Michael to protect him. The world seemed to be closing in on him, suffocating him in a silence that broke through every fibre of his being. Why? Why was all this happening? Sam knew why, but he wanted a different answer, something that wasn't so cold and realistic. He just wanted it all to be over, for everything to stop hurting.

The silence began to disappear, his world coming into focus. The realization that Castiel was really gone burned inside him as he looked over at Michael. He didn't see his brother this time, but an angel, an angel who was nothing like Sam had always dreamed they were. Michael was smirking as he argued with Lucifer, their chatter floating in and out of Sam's ears. All he could do was look from one to the other. He hated both of them; he hated both of them more than he ever thought he could. He hated the world for everything that had happened to him, everything that had happened to Dean. He just wanted it all to be over, for it all to finally go dark.

Lucifer's voice finally broke through Sam's reverie, pushing through the silence of his thoughts to bring Sam back to reality.

"This world needs a change Michael. It's needed a change for over a thousand years. All I'm doing is helping something that has been asking for help, and has yet to receive it. I mean honestly, angels will come down here in full force to end the Apocalypse but when your humans are destroying the world, you stay in Heaven and watch, like it's just a game. Now I answered their calls, I am giving them a new beginning, and I am simply doing what should have been done in the first place."

Michael nodded, contemplating his words. "No, that's where you're mistaken. We leave the humans to solve their own problems, because the day their faith turns simply into reliance we will have never done what we set out to do." Michael paused. "You have brought us here Lucifer, because you are destroying everything. If you had just left everything alone, then…"

"Then what?" An undeniable hatred leaked through Lucifer's voice, a hatred he had bottled up for too long. "Everything would have gone exactly the way you planned and the world would be happy and perfect. Humans aren't what you think they are Michael. They are capable of things that even I have never imagined, things that are dark and indescribable. These humans have burned and pillaged towns, mothers have killed their children, friends have shot friends in the back, and brothers have killed their brother." Lucifer paused, cocking his head. "Sound familiar." Lucifer smirked. "Guess we're more like humans than we ever thought."

Lucifer stepped towards his brother, stopping a foot away from him as he stared Michael in the eyes. "You'll never understand the things I do brother, and I don't expect you to. But you could at least open your eyes for one minute and look at this world you think is so perfect." Lucifer paused, a vibration passing between the two men. "It's not perfect Michael, never was. Honestly, I don't want to destroy anything, I just want to give the world a chance to start over, under new laws. This is going to be my world now, not yours." Lucifer's words faded as the two brothers locked gazes. Minutes passed between them, neither moving. A silent conversation passed between them, a conversation that had been long overdue.

The time had finally come. Michael had his vessel, Lucifer was without his. But Lucifer wasn't going to back down; he was going to fight until he couldn't fight anymore. Sam watched the two of them, unable to move. All he could do was stare and watch as everything finally came to a head. This was it, this was the deciding moment. Sam had not said 'yes' as they had all predicted, and instead Dean did. Dean had said 'yes' and decided the fate of the world. Sam would never had predicted that this was what it would come to. In all honesty he thought he would have said it and gave Lucifer everything he ever wanted.

Sam watched as a loud crack erupted in the air, forcing Sam to cover his ears. Another bright light filled the room, forcing Sam to turn away as the light burned at his eyes. The world seemed to stop turning as the two brothers fought, both working to destroy the other. Seconds ticked by slowly, turning into minutes. Sam didn't know how long he stood there. Everything felt so out of his grasp, like he couldn't quite hold on to anything, not even the breath in his lungs. He felt like he was standing with no floor under his feet, the world having dropped away with the light.

The sounds that erupted through him were the only thing he knew of the battle that took place. The noise pounded through him, sounding with a rhythmic beat. Neither side seemed to be winning for some time but as the minutes passed the sounds became quieter. They were ragged, beating slowly like laboured breath.

Then the noise was gone.

The light was gone.

And the world was back.

Sam opened his eyes slowly, trying to feel his bearings as his view adjusted. Michael stood in the middle of the room, staring down the now dead body Lucifer had once possessed. There was no triumph on his face, just a blank stare that told nothing of how he was feeling. His body was scratched and bruised, a long cut decorating the left side of his face. Michael appeared unaffected by the injuries, but Sam knew Dean's body wouldn't be able to survive much longer with them. The chaos around them had died done, the world echoing in silence. With Lucifer had gone the demons, and with that the impending end of the world.

Sam took a few steps towards Michael, stopping a few feet in front of him. "Michael."

Michael's head shot up to look Sam in the eyes. A chill crept over him, as they weren't the eyes Sam had seen just a bit ago. They were Dean's eyes. Sam knew not to think it was actually Dean there now, but something in him was holding on very tight to that thought.

"Sam." It was Dean's voice, but Sam knew it was Michael speaking. Michael stepped towards Sam, closing the small gap between them. He looked Sam in the eyes, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder lightly. "I want to thank-you and your brother for everything you have sacrificed and done throughout your lives. I wish things could have been different, as I wish no more hurt upon you. But I cannot give you your brother back the way he was, just as I could not save the man Lucifer possessed. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me as we have forgiven you." Michael dropped his head, holding his gaze with Sam's. "Your brother wanted me to give you a message. He asks that you too will forgive him for what he had to do and that you will move on without him. He wants you to go live your life now and do what makes you happy, not what you feel you must do. He says to go back to school if that's what you'd like, to finish your study. Then he emphasized that you should find yourself a woman, one who makes you happy and one that has a better sense of humour than you." Sam laughed softly, fighting the tears that struggled at his eyes. "He said he just wants you to be happy, even if it still means hunting. He doesn't want you to feel responsible for what has happened Sam." Michael paused. "He wants to say he loves you, and that he couldn't have asked for anyone else to be his brother."

A few tears fell from Sam's face, shattering at his feet. He let them fall, his heart racing in his chest. Dean's words echoed through him, burning his every fibre with every syllable. Move on. Move on sounded so simple. But how was he supposed to move on? Dean was his brother, his everything. He had grown closer to Dean in the last five years then he had ever thought he would, and good or bad he didn't regret a single moment they spent together. He remembered how he had planned to leave Dean at first, to go back to school as soon as they were done. But he hadn't, he hadn't left. And because that he had had the best years of his life. He loved Dean, he loved him, and he hadn't told him that in months. He hadn't told him he loved him.

Sam looked up at Michael, seeing his brother there, not an angel. "Can you let my brother go please?" His voice cracked underneath the pain that was enveloping him.

How was he supposed to move on?

Michael nodded. A white light grew from Dean's body, filling the room as quickly as it disappeared. Dean's body fell limp, crumbling to the ground and into Sam's arms. Dean's eyes lay open, staring blankly at the ceiling. Sam closed his eyelids with his hand, a tear falling on Dean's cheek. Sam brushed it away quickly, shivering with the cold feeling of Dean's skin. Sam stared at his brother, minutes passing by. But Sam didn't notice, and nor did he care how long he knelt there holding his brother. His heart was breaking, his life playing out like a slideshow in front of him. Every moment he had ever spent with Dean crushed through him, breaking more and more of Sam's tears.

Why?

Why did this have to happen?

Sam didn't want to believe it. He just wanted to wake up and find Dean was alive again and all this had simply been a trick. He wanted his Dean back. He wanted his brother back. Dean deserved the chance to live the life that made him happy. Dean deserved it, not him. Sam couldn't understand it, he wanted to, but he couldn't. Why did he get the chance to live when Dean had suffered so much more?

Dean's words to him echoed through his mind. He wanted Sam to be happy, to go back to school. Sam wasn't sure how he was supposed to do that. But he'd try, he'd try because Dean had asked him to. He'd live his life for the both of them; for what Dean would never have the chance to get.

Sam looked down at Dean, the tears having stopped as the pain overtook every other feeling in his body. _I'm sorry. _That was what he went to say, but the words caught in his throat. '_He doesn't want you to feel responsible.' _Sam wasn't to think this was his fault, it was Dean's choice. But no matter what Sam would always feel some responsibility.

The words hung in his throat as Sam tried to formulate more. They just didn't want to come. But when they did they scratched at his throat, burning with every breath. "Goodbye Dean. I love you."

I love you.

He had said it.

_You speak of a new beginning,_

_Of a world without heartache._

_You speak of a new world of possibilities,_

_Of things people deem impossible._

_You speak of trust, honesty, and love._

* * *

I hope you all liked this chapter and I apologize for taking longer than I expected to update. But here it is and hopefully you all liked it. I know it goes against how many want it to end, but this is how I saw the series ending. So please leave a quick review if you would like on what you thought, it would be greatly appreciated. Please stay tuned for Chapter 9. I will tell you now that it will not be up for awhile since I have midterms and a school musical taking up my every moment. As soon as I get the chance, I promise to write.

Thank-you.


	9. Death Is Not the End

**Death Is Not the End**

First and foremost I am going to begin by apologizing with every fibre of my being for taking almost two months to update. I feel absolutely horrible and I really hope you can bring yourselves to forgive me. I hadn't planned on taking so long but when I finally got the time to write when my life calmed down I was completely uninspired. That lasted a good while and then when I was inspired again my life picked up, again. So I am extremely sorry and I hope you can all understand.

So this is the final chapter in this fanfic. I do plan to write more fanfics soon so if you liked this one please stay tuned, and hopefully I won't take a millenium to update. *crosses fingers* But anyway, I hope you all liked this even though it ended completely different from the actual season, but that's OK. Anyway thank-you for tuning in and I really hope you enjoy it.

* * *

_What is life?_

_What is death?_

_Are they the beginning and the end?_

_Or are they two points in time,_

_Of a single soul?_

_"Goodbye Dean. I love you."_

Sam sat in the Impala, an envelope in his hand and tears falling slowly down his face. Dean's body lay in the back seat, covered by a black blanket. Sam had managed to get Dean out of the hospital without any trouble as the hospital staff were all unconscious from Lucifer's arrival. Lucifer. Sam still couldn't believe everything, and all of it just seemed so surreal. He kept having the childhood thought that Dean wasn't dead but just in a really deep long sleep. He wanted so badly for none of it to have happened and he would have traded the whole world at that moment to have his brother back.

The minutes ticked by slowly as the world spun around him. Everything was silent, the events of the Apocalypse fading away into the Earth. Death had put it's handprint on the world that day and people around him were feeling the same as he was. Lost. Hurt. Broken. He wasn't the only one who had lost.

With the thought of loss Sam looked down at the envelope in his hand. He had found it on the passenger's seat, addressed to him in Dean's handwriting. For two hours he hadn't been able to bring himself to open it, instead he simply let it weigh down in his hands, getting heavier with every passing second. He stared at it, letting his name burn an imprint in his irises. He was scared to open it, scared to hear what Dean had to say. It wasn't that he was scared of the words exactly, more that he was scared of the black and white proof that Dean was gone.

But he knew he had to open it, and so he did.

_Sam,_

_I know if you're reading this it means I said 'yes' and Michael beat Lucifer. I know what I did was not how either of us had planned it, but it was what had to be done. I hope you can forgive me for my actions as I may never forgive myself. I know you think I was giving up, and maybe in a sense I was, but I thought it through, and this is what I knew I had to do. Destiny said that one of us would kill the other but I couldn't let that happen Sam. I knew If I said 'yes' before you did then Michael could kill Lucifer and you would be able to survive. I had to protect you and I hope you can understand that._

_I'm asking you to accept a lot, I know that, and I am sorry for what I have done. But I am going to ask you to move on and not try and bring me back. Believe me when I say that I tried to find a way back from death, but no one would give it to me Sam, just as they won't if you ask too. There's no coming back this time Sam. So now I ask you the hardest thing of all, and that is to move on. I have put myself in your shoes and I can only imagine the pain and the daunting future of moving on, but I ask you anyways. I ask you not for me, but for yourself. The Apocalypse is over now and there is a world waiting. So go live your life the way your heart tells you to. Be happy Sam, you deserve it. Go see Canada like you've always wanted to, or go back to the school. If not those things, Sam please get yourself a girl, for your own sake._

_Now I know it's a lot to ask of you and I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I'm asking you to just remember me as I am and to hold on to my memory. If there is a Heaven, and if I go there, I will see you soon Sammy._

_Dean_

The letter lay cold in Sam's hands, Dean's words floating in Sam's vision. He reread the letter a few more times before finally breaking away from the words. Sam had heard what Michael had said for Dean and those words had just begun to sink in, and now with these words, words seemed to be overtaking him. They were Dean's final words, his final goodbye. It wasn't much, but then Dean was never a man of many words. But the words he did write were enough for Sam.

Dean had written for him to move on. He told him to be happy but the thought was daunting. He had had so much time to try and imagine a life without Dean, but he was so set on not losing his brother that now that Dean was gone, he wasn't ready. He had lost Dean before but this felt so much different. He had fought before to try and bring Dean back and now this time Dean was asking him to not try. Dean had already tried for weeks to find a way to withstand Michael leaving him, even asking Michael himself to try and spare him, but he got nothing. It was either he was broken or dead, and Dean didn't want to be broken.

Underneath how much Sam was hurting he understood why Dean did what he did. He would have done the same thing in Dean's position, no matter what it meant. He couldn't be angry at Dean no matter how much he wanted to be, because Dean had done something no one else would have done. Dean really was the bravest man Sam knew and he was proud to call him his brother. Memories started flashing through him. He remembered the time when they used to just hunt wendigos and face ghosts. He remembered when they didn't have to worry about angels and demons and the only thing they concentrated on was their next hunt. Those were times when things were simple, times too when Sam wanted to stop hunting. Looking back on it, Sam didn't regret a single moment he spent with his brother, even when his emotions towards him were more hate than love. And now Sam would cherish each and every one of those moments because now they were all he had. Dean was now just a memory, a memory that he would hold on to until he saw Dean once again.

* * *

The flames flickered, licking at the cold night air. Light reflected through the darkness creeping across the ground. Sam's skin stung from the heat, the light burning his eyes. This was the last place he wanted to be, standing here watching the fire envelop his brother. He didn't want to burn Dean but Ellen, Jo, and Bobby all agreed it was best. Dean didn't want to come back, so if they burnt his body no one could try, demon or human.

Watching the flames tore Sam apart, but as much he tried to he couldn't pull his gaze away. All he was at that moment was that fire. It was all he could see, all he could hear and all he was. He didn't move, not even a twitch escaping his bones. No tears fell from his eyes either. As much as he wanted to cry and break down and just forget it all, he didn't. He just stared, his eyes reflecting the blazed fire before him.

Minutes passed, maybe hours, Sam didn't know. Time had become an illusion, a cold remembrance of the past.

Cold.

So cold.

Sam couldn't feel a thing. Even with the hot fire against his face, he was cold. He didn't know if he could ever feel anything again.

Then a warm hand fell on his shoulder. Sam blinked. The fire had died, leaving dark ash that was flittering in the wind. Sam turned to face Ellen, wanting to smile, but not finding the way how. Her eyes met his and in them was a compassion that was filtering through her touch. Sam looked up from Ellen to see Jo and Bobby and with that a small smile fell on his face. As much as every thought that crossed his mind said he had lost everything, he didn't. He had them, the rest of his family. He still had people who loved him and cared for him.

He hadn't really lost everything.

Just a lot.

Sam felt Ellen's pull leading him back to the others. Sam stopped before them, letting out a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding. Their faces reminded Sam of Dean's words. '_Move on.' _Looking at it now the prospect became a little easier. But only a little. He didn't have to do it on his own. He had others, others who would have to move on too.

Minutes passed between them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, just the kind of silence where everyone was searching for the right words to say. It was Bobby who spoke first, his words strong but faltering.

"What are you going to do now Sam?"

Sam looked up at Bobby's words. He hadn't considered what he was going to do. Dean's letter had told him to do certain things but Sam hadn't spent more than those for minutes on the idea of what he was going to do. It was sort of like if he decided what he was doing he was fully accepting what had happened. But, Sam knew he had to accept it. He knew he would have to accept it a year ago and he knew he had to now.

"I'll probably go to Canada." The words fell from his lips slowly, catching in his throat before escaping in pained breaths. "I want to see the mountains." Sam sighed, his gaze falling back to the ground.

"Sam…" Ellen's voice was wavering, but it held a heartfelt emotion that made Sam's heart falter.

Sam put a reassuring hand on Ellen's shoulder as she had on his. "I'll be ok." Sam wasn't sure if that was a lie or if he was telling the truth. Dean wanted him to be OK, and he wanted to be OK for Dean. It was going to take a while, but someday he'd figure it out. He'd find himself a girl as Dean had said but he wasn't sure if he'd go back to school. However he would guarantee that he would try to be happy.

Sam looked back up at his friends…family. "I need to move on for Dean. I made a promise to him and to myself that I would, and so I will. I am now asking you as he asked me, to move on and continue living and being happy. Dean sacrificed himself for our survivals and that's the least we can do to repay him."

"So then why did he do it?" Bobby's question wasn't meant for an answer, it was simply meant as something they were all thinking.

"Because he's the bravest man I know." Sam's voice cracked as he took in a deep breath. Dean would have said he was the stupidest man alive, but they all knew that was not the truth.

Ellen turned to Sam. "Sam if you ever need anything don't be afraid to call."

"You've done enough for me already Ellen."

"I mean it Sam. We're here if you need anything. Anything." Ellen looked up in to Sam's eyes. He could tell she had cried but that now she was forcing herself to hold the tears in.

Sam smiled. "Thank-you."He gave her a hug, holding her warmth there for a few seconds before letting go. He turned to Bobby.

"My door will be open for you boy, if you ever need it." Bobby too had cried his share, his tears not as recent as Ellen's. Sam gave Bobby a hug too, pulling away seconds later.

"Thank-you Bobby."

Sam then turned to Jo who was holding in the tears that were glistening at her eyes. She didn't want to cry, had already cried enough to fill a river. She didn't want to cry in front of Sam or Bobby and her mother. She just wanted to leave and be alone just as she knew the others did.

"Bye Jo." Sam wrapped his arms around her thin frame, feeling her body shake against his skin. He pulled away from her, acknowledging her silent goodbye. He turned around slowly and began walking away. With each step he wanted to turn back around but he kept walking, the Impala growing closer with each passing second.

Sam turned when he heard soft footsteps behind him. Jo was running after him, tears glistening on her face. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him there, her face buried in her chest. She had never been as close with Sam as she had been with Dean, but Sam was still like family, no matter what happened. Jo pulled away, looking up at Sam.

"You're brother was an amazing man Sam, but I know you know that." Jo's gaze faltered. "I'm sorry." Jo sighed. "I know, the worst two words to say, but I truly am sorry Sam." Jo paused, fighting against the tears. "I want to hear what Canada's like OK. Everything, even if it's boring. So promise you'll come back soon."

"I promise."

They kept their eyes met for a few seconds before both pulled away. They said a goodbye silently before Sam turned and finished the last few steps towards the Impala. Sam opened the door, sitting down slowly. He turned the key in the ignition, the lights shining on Jo standing in the clearing. She hadn't moved. He looked one last time at Bobby, Ellen, and finally Jo before backing up and starting the long drive to the Canadian Rockies.

* * *

Dean's eyes flickered open. He stood in the middle of a road, the night air encircling him. He looked around him, his new surroundings overwhelming his senses. Everything was so clear, so pure. He knew he was dead, but this wasn't Hell. He had seen Hell, and unless this was some part of it he was never privileged to see, he was in Heaven. With that thought of death and Heaven came rushing back the memory of the last few days he had on Earth.

Sam. His little brother. He had left him. He had left Sammy. He knew why he did it, to protect Sam, but now he had left Sam unprotected. What was Sam going to do? Would he be able to move on without him? Questions plagued him, overrunning his senses. Sammy. Would he be OK?

As questions flooded through him he started walking, following the road. He didn't know where it would lead him, but anywhere was better than nothing. But if he was Heaven, what did that mean? Why did it look this way? Why wasn't it all white and full of clouds? Why was he on a road? And if he was truly there where were the people he was supposed to see? They preached on Earth that you would see your loved ones again, so where was his mother?

With the thought of his mother Dean stopped in his tracks. Exposed beyond the tree line was a house. A house so familiar it was burned in Dean's mind.

It was his house.

His family's house.

Dean started running, his feet falling hard on the sidewalk. He pounded up the stairs, bursting through the doorway. The scent of his mother's cooking wafted through the house, pulling Dean towards the kitchen. Dean stopped in his tracks, his thoughts racing. His mother stood in the kitchen, her back to him. She was fixing a sandwich, a knife in her hand smoothing mayonnaise on a slice of bread. Dean wanted to fall on his knees, his heart weeping. This had to be Hell, just some evil trick. It wasn't really his mother, it couldn't be. It looked like his mother, it moved like his mother, but it couldn't really be her, could it? He wanted so badly for it to b Mary, and he would give anything for it to be her.

Mary turned around slowly, a smile on her face. "Dean sweety, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come over here? I made you a sandwich, your favourite."

Dean wanted to cry, and part of him wanted to run. The part that wanted to cry was the part that believed it was her and the part that wanted to run was the part that thought it was all a trick.

"Mom." The word cracked past his lips, hanging in the air in front of him.

"It's me Dean." She picked up the plate setting it on the table for Dean. "Now come sit, I promise I won't bite." Mary spoke softly, a smile still on her face. If it was her it appeared she was as happy to see him as he was to see her.

Dean walked over to his mother, his strides taking him quickly over to her. He wanted to take her in, smell her familiar scent, and hold her as she used to hold him as a child. He didn't sit down but stared at her, meeting his eyes with hers.

"It's really me Dean. You're in Heaven now."

Dean took her into a hug with those words, not even letting her finish. All doubts were washed away, were washed away before she had even spoken. He knew where he was from the beginning. He held her to him, her warmth warming his numb body. A smile crossed his face that he had believed unimaginable. This was his mother, and now he had her. He could hug her now and eat her sandwiches, even just sit and talk with her. But even in that moment he never wanted to let go of Sam crept up. Dean tightened as he thought of Sam. How could he be happy when he left Sam behind?

Mary senses Dean's muscles tighten, pulling away from him slowly. "Sam'll be OK Dean." Dean's eyes moved to meet Mary's. She was still smiling, her eyes glistening. "Your brother can do it, you know that. You wouldn't have done what you did if you didn't know he could make it."

"But…"

"Shh." Mary put a finger to Dean's lips, her voice wiping away all his problems as it used to when he was young. "You can stop fighting now Dean. You have done enough already, you deserve to rest. You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. Sam will be OK and he will come to us when it is his time."

"How do you know he'll be OK?"

"Because I know your brother Dean, just as I know you. I couldn't be prouder of the both of you for everything you've done." Mary put a hand on Dean's shoulder, leading him to the chair at the kitchen table. Dean sat down as Mary moved to take the seat diagonal from him. "Your brother will be fine." Mary took Dean's hand in hers, holding her gaze with his. "He would have done the same thing for you, and he would have asked the same thing of you to move on. And you would have, as much as you would have fought him on it. He knows he'll see you soon Dean, and that's what will make him OK." Mary smiled, letting a few seconds pass between them. "I love you Dean.

"I love you too Mom."

Mary stood up, crossing around Dean. "Now eat, you've been staring that sandwich down like a vulture since the minute you walked in."

Dean laughed, taking a bite from his sandwich. His eyes were met on the wooden top of the table, his thoughts on Sam.

Dean swallowed quickly, whispering softly to himself. "I love you Sammy, and I will see you soon."

* * *

Sam sat on the edge of the Impala, face turned to the sky. Canadian air filled his lungs, the ground rumbling beneath his face. He had made it and he was feeling better than he had. He was going to make it, he knew that now. Dean's face filled his view and his voice whispered softly through him. "I'll see you soon too Dean."

Sam's words were carried on the wind, lifting through the air. They left Sam and the Impala behind and filtered across the world just as the effect of Dean's life did. In the case of a life on earth, death is never the end.

_Light becomes a saviour_

_As darkness breaks through the clouds._

_Breath escapes a fallen soul,_

_Traveling to tell the world,_

_That death is not always the end._

* * *

So that's it, I hoped you enjoyed it. Please take the time to review, monosyllables or essays, it doesn't really matter, they're both appreciated.

So it turned out differently than I myself had expected it to, but I'm happy with it. For my first fanfic I enjoyed myself and it was a great experience. With that I would like to thank each and every one of you who took the time to review my story. A special thanks goes to SeaKat and You'reWrongI'mRight for reviewing nearly every chapter and finally WinterWindSingsAndItCries who reviewed to me away from the site. But really a thanks goes to each and every one of you who reviewed, I appreciated everything you all said.

Thank you.

Amber

xx


End file.
